My boobs are HUGE today.
I had a slight headache yesterday and a weird weepy spell and an insatiable hunger for chocolate. I woke up today to cramps and huge boobs so, yeah, it all makes sense now. It's "that" time of the month. In decades of this same pattern, I have been surprised each time by the simple explanation for symptoms that had me puzzled right up until I finally connected the (red) dots.
Except I have not had periods for years. I am post-menopausal so, WTF?
From the evidence in the bathroom trash, I can deduce that my 13-year-old daughter started her period overnight. I reckon her teenage hormones are so powerful, some got on me too.
It's okay with me. I like the nostalgia of feeling more like a maiden than a crone today. I put on my red lipstick and may even braid my hair. I might just tuck in my shirt and belt my jeans to show off my HUGE boobs that lately have felt and looked more like leaky balloons.
Just don't look at me funny or I may burst out in tears and run to my room because you just don't understand!
Womanhood -- never a dull moment.
This may well explain why my own mother was moody at precisely the times I was moody.
Today, I pledge to keep my own moods in check and let my daughter be how she feels without me trespassing on her rightful domain as queen of all. Probably.
Now then, where the hell did I put my fancy bras?
Photo Credit: nicoleabalde.
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