5 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.


Several marital issues have a hint of suspicion in them. We suspect our spouses’ motives, thoughts, words, actions, movements, intentions and relationships. While no suspicion is healthy or profitable for any marriage, I would like to talk a little of suspecting your spouse of infidelity.

To suspect means to believe (someone) to be guilty of something with little or no proof.  It means to doubt or mistrust, to believe to be the case or to be likely probable.

A man told of how a former staff of his got married to this lady who USED to be very promiscuous to put it very mildly. And he couldn’t stop thinking that any time he was not with her she was with someone else and this was posing a lot of threats to his marriage.  This man became so sick emotionally that he began to seek comfort from unhealthy sources and his marriage became very sick too.

My thoughts are that anybody can make a change for the best and if a man loved a lady enough to marry her out of her former lifestyle, then he should also believe her when she tells him she cannot go back.

Ladies are not exempted; some ladies cannot help but think and imagine all negatives when they see their husbands with any girl. They get threatened even by the shadow of a lady around their husbands and begin to assume a lot of things that really have no truth in them.

A man got frustrated by his wife’s constant and endless accusations from his wife: she had a long mental list of all the ladies she believes her husband has had affairs with and does not hesitate to read out the list to him whenever “occasion” demands. He complained that he was simply tired of it all. He has tried to make her believe his fidelity but she refused to believe him.

I agree that infidelity does occur and I also agree that some people give room for suspicion. But we shouldn’t allow insecurity or paranoia to make us keep thinking infidelity.

We shouldn’t think, imagine or suspect infidelity into being. If we feel uncomfortable about our spouses’ relationship with someone we should bring it up for discussion, believe our spouses if they say nothing is happening and trust God that they will take note of our comments and refuse to give room for “anything” to happen. And let us not stop there, we must pray for our spouses’ so that they will not enter into temptation.

If we keep imagining our spouses with other men or women then sooner than later our thoughts would manifest if we don’t stop. 

We cannot undermine the power of our thoughts; scriptures and events have proven that there is power in our thoughts.

So rather than thinking and suspecting that our spouses are unfaithful, let us channel that energy into thinking good thoughts about them according to Philippians 4:8. (AMP)

For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].

NOTE: I do not in anyway think anyone should live in denial if their spouse is really cheating (proven). My main subject of discussion is SUSPICION.

Imagine if your spouse were the one haunting you with his or her suspicions, how would you feel, especially knowing that you are innocent? I believe frustration, hurt and perhaps even anger would be some of the feelings you would battle. Nothing hurts anyone like knowing his or her spouse does not trust him or her.

 I believe the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 13:7 (AMP)

Love… is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances...(Emphasis mine)

 Love believes the best and it never fails. Believe the best about your spouse, pray for your spouse, love your spouse and put your trust in God to make him/her the best spouse ever!

Over to you now, what say you?


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