Mafia or 'Lord of the Flies' -- Never Turn Your Back on Your Kids

4 years ago

If you have more than one teenage boy, you have (probably) on at least one occasion dealt as I have with the rooster posturing, and growling boys tend to emanate when they become angry with each other.

If you are quick enough, you may even be able to stop it before it leads to fists flying at one another.

Name calling is a given, when they are actually happy with each other, as well as when they are angry.

However, have you ever wondered what goes on when you are not around?

I have always been pretty proud of my boys when they are not amongst the husband and me. Everyone always claims they are polite, and always helpful. Never rude.

However, what happens when you are close by? Do they behave if they are in their own home- and there is someone unrelated in that home?

What I have learned… my boys are a brutal mafia family. At least that’s what a friend told me. After she explained herself through spouts of laughter and giggles.


Credit: daran_kandasamy.

Before we delve into that conversation, you first need to learn the rules. There is always a set of unwritten rules known by siblings.

There is the oldest: The no one fights for dominance unless they are sure they will win. He enslaves the lower class to do his bidding at all times.

There is the second in command. When the oldest isn't around, and someone needs to step into place, he's the one they call upon. Don't let the calm voice fool you however! He is always plotting his takeover of the oldest boy's spot.

The sleeper: He’s the one most ignore because he tends to stand idly by; not overly opinionated. He likes to watch for mistakes before he intervenes.

Then comes the brains, because let’s face it… there’s always the one who tends to be the brains of the bunch… always hiding in the shadows, only giving hints to what should be done without being noticed so as not to take the blame when things go bad.

Then there are the minions, cute little minions who tattle on the older ones, however they also tend to follow everyone around in hopes of someday gaining a respectful seat.

As a parent you learn to stay one step ahead at all times so you are not overthrown and lost to all anarchy.

So back to my friend…

About a week ago she came over. We sat around gabbing then started watching a movie with the boys. They were being great that day, which should have been the first warning. They were just being too well-behaved.

They watched the movie in silence, which again should have been the second warning. They never watch a movie without being scolded a half a dozen times to be quiet. After about an hour or so, I excused myself to the bathroom, and let’s just say, as a mother of 8 not only do I shower in record time, I also pee faster than a greased pig on a water slide.

In less than 2 minutes, here’s how that little scene played out.

Boy 4 (who was in the kitchen still not doing the dishes) ran into his bedroom with a fork. He slapped or stabbed (still out on which exactly) boy 3. Boy 3 then chased boy 4 (boy 4 giggling with delight that he one upped boy 3) down the hallway into the living room in which we were watching the movie, and went to beat boy 4 until he saw my friend; he then ran back to his room to escape.

Boy 1 grabbed boy 4, holding his hands behind his head, and screamed at boy 3 to get back and deal out boy 4’s punishment. Boy 8 yelled out he was a ninja and proceeded to spin kick anyone in his way. Boy 3 popped boy 4 in the head, boy 2 grabbed boy 8 and body slammed him on boy 6 and 7.

For some reason boy 5 just stared and giggled.

They all stopped when they heard the bathroom door open, jumped back into their rightful spot without so much as breaking a sweat.

The friend…

Well, she just sat there cracking up at how quickly and efficiently the boys played the whole scene out. However, even after prodding her for an explanation, she still wouldn't budge -- which of course gained her many cookie points by the boys.

I hadn't seen or heard a thing.

Once we left the house she proceeded to play the whole scenario out for me. She knows my boys pretty darn well, which is why we decided the whole idea of staying well-behaved in front of her went out the window.

She calls them a mafia; I believe its straight up Lord of the Flies up in here.

The lesson I have gained from this: Never turn your back on your kids, and if you have to use the restroom when there’s company, the boys have to go with you!

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