This Season of Life

8 months ago
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"But Mommy. I don't want to go to school I want to stay with you."

Tears fall down his little cheeks. We go through this every morning and every morning my mama heart melts just a little more. Every ounce of me is screaming to keep him home. He's my baby...he can stay my baby forever.

I tie his shoes and hug him tight. "You have to go to school baby. You'll have fun! You always tell me how great your day was at school."

I hug him tighter not really wanting to ever let him go.

We're in a different season of life. One where my babies aren't babies anymore. This season of life looks like school drop-offs and pick-ups, helping them learn numbers and letters, multiplication and division, how to make friends and be a good friend.

And my heart yearns for simpler days. The days they needed me for everything. Days of newborn snuggles, preschool half days, and daily tickle fights.

So, I hold on to my youngest a little tighter. Not wanting him to grow up but knowing he has to.

We all walk the different seasons of life. At one point we embrace them, eager to move on only to get there and realize we can't go back. There won't be any more newborn snuggles in my house, no more nightly wake-ups. No more kids needing me for everything.

It's almost like mourning. Accepting and letting go of what once was. Only to finally move on to see what the future holds. My 11 year old turning 16 and learning to drive. My 7 year old getting his first girlfriend. And my sweet baby boy running up and down the soccer field.

Every morning we get to school, he cries. I hug him and hold him tight, making sure he knows he'll have a great day while looking at his sister, telling her to take care of her little brother. They walk off, hand in hand and I can finally breathe, knowing they'll be ok without me.

I leave, going home to work...passing the time until I can rush back to pick them up.

This season of's different, beautiful in its own way. A season I've been looking forward to yet secretly wishing for it to never come. This season of life has me embracing the "now" and savoring every messy, chaotic, and beautiful moment.

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