Searching For My Gold
Like much of the world population (or at least the U.S. population), I have spent hours and hours viewing the various Olympic events over the past week. I'm starting to get a little bleary eyed and delirious from staying up far past my bedtime to see our gymnasts, swimmers, and runners. And in that muddled brain state I begin having dreams of my own Olympic gold.
I'm not completely delusional yet. I don't imagine myself biking cross country, or swimming a 400m IM, or doing a stunning balance beam routine and nailing the dismount in a way that sends the crowd to their feet. Although that chick sitting in the front of the boat telling the rowers to "stroke"? Yeh - I think I could master that. Maybe. I'm good at telling people what to do. Just ask my kids.
But after careful consideration of my general lack of athleticism, I have come up with my own "Olympics - Home Edition".
That's right. Olympics for the home maker. Events in cooking, cleaning, general home and family management. Medals for the every day heroes of family life.
I may be a medal contender in dishes. Empty dishwasher, rinse dishes, load dishwasher. I've got that routine down cold. Gold might be a stretch, but silver is certainly within my reach. Not today. If the event were held today - I'd be lucky to squeeze by with a bronze.
I probably wouldn't even get past the quarter finals in laundry. I'd take a terrible tumble off the pile of Mt. WashingToDo causing huge deductions. An epic fail of Feck proportions. No coming back from that sort of disaster.
And I am refusing to contend in Ironing at all. I just can't see any good reason to do that to myself. That would be like a runner trying to race in the pool. Completely out of my element.
I would , of course, dominate in Clothesline Drying. Watch me folks. I would dazzle the judges and the crowds with my hanging skills and the speed with which I can remove the dry clothing from the line!
I'm already dreaming up other events and imagining myself up on the podium waving and smiling at my cheering, adoring family.
Bathroom cleaning - GOLD!
Meal planning and cooking dinner - GOLD!
Grocery shopping and couponing - GOLD!
Vacuuming. Dusting. Sweeping and Mopping. GOLD, GOLD, GOLD! Oh, who am I kidding... probably Silver at best.
What event in the Olympics: Home Edition would win you a medal?
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