My husband has been gone for the past 10 days elk hunting in Colorado. My parents left this morning after visiting with the girls and me for a week to help out while he's been gone. Their visit was all part of the plan for my husband's trip, and I am so glad they were able to come. Of course I would have been able to manage if they hadn't (I'm obviously not the first woman to have to care for children by myself for a while), but it sure did help that they were here. Especially since I was so out of sorts last weekend. Last week I was having a rough time getting in my groove. My parents' arrival was like hitting the "reset" button.
I think we all sometimes just need to hit reset.
When you're a mom, sometimes the stuff just kind of piles on, and no matter how much or how fast you dig, you end up feeling a bit buried. Last week, I was feeling it up to my neck. And it wasn't just because my husband had been working nights and then left town. That was only part of it. When you're home with small children all day every day, stuff just gets to you some days.
Fact is, being a stay-at-home mom is sometimes a lonely job. I love it, but it just is. That's why I talk to my husband or chat with friends. Have play dates or go to Target. I love my girls fiercely, but naturally, interactions with them happen on their level. They do talk a lot. I mean, a lot. And I love talking to them. I love hearing how their little minds work and the questions they come up with. But good lord, the questions! Sometimes they can overwhelm. A good friend described it well when she said that a mother of several small children hardly ever gets a chance for her mind to be quiet. Which is all fine, except sometimes I like to have time for my mind to be quiet. I like to have time to think and reflect and also to talk with other valued grown ups. Failing that, I'll make a run to Target, where at least I can see a few random grown ups, and have a short interaction with the check out girl, and hopefully the change of scenery keeps my girls occupied enough to keep them from grabbing and scratching and pinching each other for 15 minutes. ...
My point is, in all the noise, it's okay to lose it sometimes. Hit reset. Move on.
This week, I'm good. I'm back to me. As in Mom-who-has-her-shit-mostly-in-a-pile-instead-of-raining-down-on-her me.
In spite of my sometimes insanity, I love being a stay at home mom. I don't want my life to be any other way. My life's work is right here, in progress.
I just had a great visit with my parents.
And my best friend is coming home tonight.
Life is so good.
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