Relationship 101: In every complaint there is a request

7 years ago
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In every complaint there is a request.

I can’t remember where I first heard that, but it has stuck with me ever since it leapt into my ears & then straight to my heart.

Isn’t it true?

Think about all the times you stood in the kitchen yelling at your spouse over something that hurt your feelings, an action was or wasn’t done, or the laundry list of little complaints you left unannounced that piled up over time and came out in one BIG explosion.

With every statement of dissatisfaction that left your mouth, there was a request that could have been made.

My invitation to you is that the next time you feel yourself boiling over with anger and frustration you write out

  • I am angry because…
  • My request is that you _____ in the future.

Given, the other person has the right to decline your request. But the transition in conversation will be much smoother because there is a request for action instead of a stagnant upset leaving  you with a 'what now' feeling.

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