's me...your Inner a minute?

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

Do you even know that voice? Do you know what it sounds like?

Is it the anxiety ridden voice wondering if you should work or stay-at-home? Is it the accusing voice that you are not spending enough quality time with XYZ or that your children are eating the wrong foods? Is it the high pitched panicky voice that is questioning whether you have picked the right school option? What about THAT voice nagging you regarding your spouse or your parents?

Do you wonder if you even have issues or if they were just created because of all the information zooming into your eyes and through your brain that made you start to second-guess yourself? It is information overload.

“We should or shouldn’t do XYZ to have a better life”.

That is the overall theme that I have noticed online as I have started blogging and participating in the social online world again .

It is not a new theme.

What is new is the opportunity for large amounts of people to share their information on that theme, to share “their voice”.

It may not be the same as “your voice”.

Your inner voice is the calm, quiet, strong voice that carries on underneath all of those other voices. If you have not found it, keep listening and it will filter out. It is the one that urges you to “march to the beat of your own drummer”. It is the voice that coos and soothes that, “It is ok to think differently or feel differently than the hot advice of the moment”. It’s the voice that chuckles when it reads the assortment of “make your life better by doing this” information and reminds you that you have already been there. It has your back.

Most of us strive to be the best we can be at work and at home and to have better relationships with our friends, spouses, children, parents and siblings. We would prefer to pick the right nutrition for ourselves and our families. Our hearts search to make the best decision regarding schooling and whether we work or stay home and how we will do it.

We are inundated with options, opinions and advice. And for every option, opinion and advice we read and hear about there are just as many counterpoints. That can be a good thing, especially for people who seek “learning, growing, changing, becoming better and more experienced” opportunities. I do not know about you but that stuff “jazzes” me! I have enjoyed counseling and reading books on “becoming better at XYZ” for many aspects of my life. I enjoy listening to people’s advice and thoughts to see if there is a new spin on an old topic. I am open to trying new ways to do something. Bring it on!

But now with our world opened to the voices of strangers who seem to have your best interest in mind as they share their information and opinions online, what is a person to do? What is the right decision? What is the best option? OMG!

You may enjoy gathering all the information you can to make an informed decision. Go ahead. Then search for and listen to your inner voice.  I have found that I like to know what the world thinks, unless I really have an issue that I am trying to figure out. Then I do not want any other advice or opinions in my head because it clouds my own judgment, my inner voice. I keep my problem to myself so that the resolution is mine, or at least until I have narrowed down my resolutions and am comfortable with the choices at hand. They are my choices, the ones that fit me and fit my family. The advice and opinions of others is great, for them, even if not for me. I am happy that it helped them or worked for them and that they would like to share their success with me. It just might not fit me and my situation. I am OK with that and I do not need to do it the same way. I am actually oddly wired so that I usually prefer NOT to do it the same way. Being different is my “thing”!

Our inner voice most often has the answer we are searching for. Maybe not right away, but eventually the answer comes. And sometimes that answer might only work for right now and you will change direction down the road. If you listen for the inner voice to guide you, you just might find the answers that work for YOU or for YOUR family.

I am getting just old enough now to have had decades behind me. How bittersweet! Every decade, I look back and chuckle about my “younger me”. Oh, I thought I was so clever and that I had it all figured out…until I added another decade.

There was a realization in my 40’s that I have “done that, tried, that, worked on that” and often it did NOT get me to a better place like it was suggested. Often, I found the opposite to be true. It really did not matter whether the advice was from a credentialed source or an opinion-supplied source. All the advice givers over the years were well meaning but my world is unlike any other person’s world out there. It’s MY world. And all of the threads that make up my world create a unique life that mirrors no one’s. I finally learned that if the advice, tricks and tips do not fit me and/or me and my family, it will not work no matter how much energy I put into making someone else’s life answers work for me. What usually works for me is what my inner voice is telling me. It’s the only voice that knows me and all of my angles.

Most of the voices I hear in my head these days are my own, not someone else’s. And quite often, they are thinking, “OMG…would you please be quiet for a minute…momma can’t think with all that noise?” because THOSE voices, the ones of my wee ones, are NOT usually concerned with MY best interest.

I wonder what my inner voice will have to say in the next decade?

More from parenting

by Kristine Cannon | 2 days ago
by Madison Medeiros | 3 days ago
by Jen Chesak | 3 days ago
by Caitlin Flynn | 3 days ago
by Lisa Fogarty | 5 days ago
by Laura Hall | 5 days ago
by Kim Grundy | 5 days ago
by Jennifer Mattern | 5 days ago
by Jennifer Mattern | 5 days ago
by Tiernan McKay | 5 days ago