I wrote a blog post last night.
It will not be posted today.
In a nutshell, it was all about how horrible, awful, and no good my life has been lately, about the fact that I was certain, certain, that I was going to come in and lose my job today, about the fact that I want to sue the drug companies that made the anti-depressant that made me manic that made me lose my job (but I don't know why she swallowed the fly, perhaps she'll die). I likened the stress and animosity that I have had in my life lately to tumors and bullies slowly stealing away all joy from my awesomeness.
But I am not posting that blog post today.
I am not posting it because it was all a manifestation of a brain working overtime. My review went well, the say I am doing a pretty good job, they want to see me do more of a good job.
I am pretty sure that we have been through all of this before.
Instead, I will tell you that the Supergirl had an encounter with a bully yesterday. She had scratched the girl because she would not stop teasing her. When I got there to pick her up, the mocking, the teasing continued. I could see that it was eating away at the Supergirl. The relentless nature of this girl's constant barrage of insults began to wear at me as well.
She said that the Supergirl could not dance, that she could not sing, that she was ugly.Beauty, singing and dancing - she's a triple threat.
I instructed the Supergirl to apologize although I am not certain that that is the correct response. I know that physical violence is never the answer to dealing with these people and will only cause the bullying behavior to escalate, my mind knows that. But what I wanted to do? I wanted to put that little heifer over my knee and show her what a real bully could do. I wanted to show my child that I would protect her from the little smart asses that try to steal her joy. I wanted to do something, anything other than make my child apologize to someone that had done nothing to deserve her respect or sympathy.
On the drive home, I told the Supergirl that when you allow those bullies in your life to tell you that you cannot dance, when you stop dancing because you are afraid - they win. I told her that if you let them steal your song, if you stop singing because of their words - they win.
And we are not losers.
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