The Don can be a little asshole sometimes. Yes, I said it. He can be an asshole sometimes and as for the self righteous parents who never, ever in a millions years; even if little Jimmy almost set their cat on fire; could never, ever be consider their precious snowflake an asshole. Pardon fucking me your highness that you're kid is so great that they never pissed you off to the point of no return. Well, my three year old have and that's why he's an asshole.
The Don would pull on the dogs tail, push Bambino over knocking him down, he would take the pillows off the couch and not put them back. He would put the plunger in the toilet and not take it out. He won't finish his dinner and could continually say 'NO' if asked him to eat. I would tell him not to touch something and he would continue to touch even after the third or fourth time telling him not to. When asked to clean his room, he would continue to play with his toys without cleaning until I have to get on him about it. When you tell him to stop unaccepatable behavior, he would just laughs at you. The Don would cut you off if you're explaining something to him by saying "and you're done" because he doesn't want to hear you anymore. Like I said, he's a little asshole.
So I'm trying to do this 'positive parenting' thing with The Don to see if a change of direction would make him less of an asshole. Every time he would do something that's unacceptable, I would talk to him in a calm voice to tell him what he was doing was wrong. I would tell him not to jump off the couch because he can "hurt" himself. I would tell him not to pull on the dog’s tail because he can "hurt" the dog. I would tell him to eat his dinner because he would be hungry later if he didn't. I will tell him to clean his room so he will have more time to play with daddy.
Do you think explaining to a three year old in an adult dialogue would have a positive experience for him and help him behave? Hell no! It only makes him sneaky about his antics. It makes him test the boundaries a little more to see if I would let things slide. To me, being nice to an asshole is counterproductive. You don't get respect from an asshole if you're nice and trying to reason with them. Would you go to an asshole and say, "I know you told me to go fuck myself, but let's sit down and talk about why you told me to go fuck myself." The asshole will laugh in your face and see you as a push over. You see the problem here? You can't reason with an asshole. With that in mind, I not trying to be an asshole, but I'm letting The Don know that I'm not taking his shit. It consists of taking privileges away because consequences come with his actions. It consists of raising my voice when necessary to know that I'm serious. It consist of sticking to meaning what I say when I say it when I warning him of his behavior and the consequences that will following if the rules are broken.
Trying to be positive in parenting is very tiresome. I mean how positive do I have to be in order for The Don to listen to what I have to say? I had high hopes for this positive parenting thing. I'm trying to not hurt my child's 'feelings' in hopes that one day, he will come out to be well rounded and not mentally fucked up in the head human being. If my son would have suffered a little mental anguish just to be a decent human being so be it. It wouldn't hurt my son to raise my voice or to tell him no ever now and again. So fuck you positive parenting! You're philosophy doesn't work with my family. You guys can kiss my ass!
More from parenting