The mother of today is supposed to be a nonstop nurturer that lives and breathes the happiness of her children, involve them in a plethora of extracurricular activities and chauffeur them back and forth to said activities, keep her home flawlessly clean, look ageless and refreshed, all the while presenting a relaxed and satisfied image to her family, friends, and community. And if you believe everything that you read on Facebook, or see out in public, the world is bursting at its seams with Perfect Mothers.
As Moms it’s hard not to compare ourselves to other mothers. We see them in our favorite movies, magazines, and grocery stores looking more rested, positive, and accomplished that we feel. But we have to realize we are comparing our insides to the outsides of other women. Log on to Facebook and someone will always be looking relaxed while on an exotic vacation, smiling happily with a bundle of heirs playfully mugging for the camera, or beaming proudly by their Ivy League graduate. And it’s so very tempting to believe what we see captures the truth about these moms and their lives. But, obviously, women aren’t taking pictures of and sharing their dark moments or posting their ugly truths. And maybe that’s too bad because that might allow us to position ourselves in a more realistic light.
A wise lady (Grandma) once said, “All I can do is the best I can do.” While this may be the motto for passive aggressiveness, I’m starting to believe that in the interest of my personal sanity, health, and happiness, there may be some self preservation in adopting this as my personal slogan. So lately I’ve been letting the cleaning go a little more than usual and been slightly more relaxed in my list making in the interest of spending those moments with my hubby and daughters and finding things to do that I enjoy, like blogging, or relaxing with a good book. These are things I can’t possibly be doing if I’m Perfect Mom, because there just isn’t enough time in the day. Maybe that’s why Perfect Moms document their perfect moments on camera, because they’re so brief and comprised.
And so I’m redefining Perfect Mom as the mom who does her best while still taking care of herself. Her house might not be sparklingly clean, she might not take “selfies” looking stunningly gorgeous, her status updates might not purposely invoke envy, sometimes may actually take a family time-out, but she’s happy.
More from parenting