I may have to bitch slap an assistant at the orthodontist office. First of all, this broad is in the wrong business. She has some serious snaggle teeth. She makes the Brits look good. (I’m kidding, my English fans. Your teeth look great yellow and layered on top of of one another.) Sure, we were 10 minutes late to our appointment. Maybe I had to stop to rescue a child from a river. I didn’t, but she doesn’t know that. Anyway, there have been several occasions when they were running late . I didn’t say a word about it or the fact that all their magazines date back to the 1990′s. Furthermore, (Oh hell yes I am busting out the conjunctive adverb) I am the damn customer. I am paying you the cost of a Kia to fix my son’s grill. His appointment was to attach 3 brackets that popped off. We told her he was sitting in class when they snapped off. She doesn’t have to know that he has been sneaking Doritos and pretzels at school. Anyway, after the procedure his mouth was a little sore. I doubt Nurse Ratchet was gentle. I could hear her ordering him to sit still. Miss Sunshine came out for our post appointment wrap up. The appointment wouldn’t be complete without getting belittled over his improper teeth brushing. When she walked out my son had his finger in his mouth massaging his gum. She walks over and says, “You really need to get your hand out of your mouth. That is disgusting!” Okay bitch, if he was walking around sucking his thumb at 12-years-old I would scold him. His mouth hurt. I gave him some hand sanitizer moments before. (Not that it is any of her business) “I will be the one to discipline my son, Thanks,” I told her. Clearly God knows she is an asshole and that’s why she doesn’t have children of her own. If it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve invested thousands of dollars at this place I would find another doctor. Plus, this orthodontist has done miracles with my son’s jaw. He walked in there looking like Sammy Davis Jr. I keep telling myself I only have to put up with this for like….. 2 more years!
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