New Sibling: "When Does It Goes Back Mummy?"

7 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.
New Sibling “When Does It Go Back Mummy?


This post is based on personal experiences I have had through working with families and the introduction of a new sibling and mainly I’m writing about toddlers up to the age of three. Now every child is different therefore this may not apply to your child who is eagerly expecting the arrival of their new brother or sister. In general; many children do accept with open arms the birth of a new sibling, yet many do not. Well they were originally excited but now that the baby is here they are not so keen. You feel frazzled by the demands of your baby and your toddler. So what can you do now that baby is here and what can you do to prepare if baby is on its way.

New Sibling Love -No It’s More Like Brothers & Sisters The TV Show


I have heard this analogy many a time to put you in the shoes of your toddler when the new baby comes home. Simply imagine your partner coming home from work one evening and saying “Honey I’m home, oh and meet Veronica my new wife, she’ll be staying with us now and I’ll be real busy for at least six months showing her the ins and outs of things -You understand don’t you?” Well do you understand, that the 100% attention you had from your partner is now not possible? Are you cool about the new Mrs rocking up for ever? Also wait till you see how demanding she is, constantly being needy, and wants you to do everything for her. Honestly are you happy about this?

This is how many toddlers see their new sibling ( a pain in the neck ). I know you talked about it heaps prior to the baby arriving and you told your toddler all that was about to happen and how much you love them. That’s all well and good, they seem to understand, they see your tummy grow, they’ve seen the scan photos but in a toddler’s world until the baby sibling arrives it is not reality to them. They cannot see the baby in the flesh, therefore their concerns are minimal while you are pregnant and they still have your 100% attention.


Signs That Show Toddler Is Not Happy With Their New Baby Sibling

Putting their  new baby sibling in the trash can or the recycle tub in the kitchen.

Wheeling their new sibling in their pram to the back of the shops and leaving it there.

Covering them with a blanket or towel.

Locking them in a room especially the bathroom.

Telling them “To go back”or “I hate you”.

Singing not so nice songs about them “Baby is a poo head”.


Hitting, biting & pushing new baby sibling.

Offering new baby sibling to strangers in the supermarket.

Not being impressed with baby at all, the cuteness factor doesn’t cut it with them. This new baby sibling cannot even play!

Denial about baby sibling “Is this you new baby brother/sister?” “NO!”

Trying every possible means of behaviour to get your attention.

Wiping their boogers and other bodily functions on baby sibling.

Reverting back to baby mode themselves.

Blaming baby sibling for everything and anything.


New Sibling -Be Prepared
  • Toddlers have super listening skills when they want too, therefore take the time to explain about the new baby you are expecting. You’d be surprise how many toddlers first find out by overhearing a conversation, this really puts them out.
  • Involve your toddler in arranging the baby’s room and buying their clothes and accessories. Ask  their opinion “Can you help mummy choose what would be good for the baby to wear in winter, spring etc..”  You select some outfits for baby and let them choose.
  • If your child is giving up their room, or moving from cot to bed, don’t wait till the week before the baby is due. Start the change as soon as possible. Explaining why the change is needed and how helpful and pleased you are with them.
  • Talk about the reality of the baby, it will not be playing as soon as it is born, it will cry and mummy will be even more tired.
  • Arrange soft toy basket/box for baby with your toddler and also a basket/box for your toddler that they can have next to baby’s.
  • You can make a book all about me, with your toddler with photos and events from when they were babies.
  • Enter this giveaway for the My Story Book by Julia Driscoll a mother of three and a medical practitioner who has written  and designed this book in preparing your toddler and preventing sibling rivalry. Children comprehend so much more visually and this book is a great way to connect as you add your photos and your toddler’s baby story together. It will also give you the opportunity to talk about what baby cannot do and what the toddler cannot do to the baby.

New Sibling -Keeping The Peace & Toddler Happy


  • Prepare a small gift to give to your toddler from the baby.
  • Ask visitors and family to acknowledge your toddler first when visiting ” Wow I was really looking forward to seeing you” Think about it they were here first and if all attention goes straight to baby then jealousy arises.
  • Toddlers ultimately want your attention and your praise, they want to please you. So get them involved as much as possible. Let them bring you the nappy, wipes etc… then thank them for helping you “Thanks for your help, I couldn’t do this without you”.
  • When feeding the baby during the day, make it your special reading time together, leave some books ready with your child.
  • Have your toddler  role model what you do with baby with a doll of their own.
  • Try and keep toddlers bedtime routine the same and add an extra five minutes reading or cuddling time with them.
  • Emotions yours and  your toddlers’ will be at their highest with a new baby sibling in the house, be aware of this and talk to your toddler about being sad and happy.
  • When baby cries and if toddler is around ask them “Why do think baby is crying, are they hungry, do they have a stinky bottom?” Toddlers love being involved.


How To Enter the Giveway  Thanks to Julia Driscoll Two  My Story Books

You only have to do two easy peasy things

  1. Leave a comment on any other post (not a giveaway post) on the Easy Peasy Kids blogging site.
  2. Leave a comment  below saying done & how we contact you if you win, either Facebook, Twitter or leave an email contact.

This Giveaway closes onThursday 13th October at 9pm Australian EST  and is open World Wide

The  Two Winners will be drawn randomly.

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