The New

9 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

One of the most difficult challenges I've faced as a new mom has been the radical shift in the amount of contact I've had with adults. I know that is nothing new for most moms these days, especially those of us who've had a career or a profession that we were "married to" before DB came along. 

Knowing I'm not alone in this has helped.


I'm great at making friends. [I moved a lot as a kid (went to 4 different high schools), and that shaped my ability to go after friendships.] And so, I've made new mom friends. I am so grateful to have them- two in particular. We don't go long without talking to each other or meeting up for playdates or coffee.

But there are times when I feel completely alone.

When Eric is napping.

When we're stuck in the apartment for what feels like the millionth day in a row because of illness or bad weather.

When I just need a break from Sesame Street and puzzles and cars and diapers.

One of my coping mechanisms came in the form of the internet shortly after Eric was born. I had remembered reading a magazine article about a mom's website (long before Eric was even an idea) and so I decided to look it up.

I joined the site. And I was hooked.

It was instant communication! Moms from all over the world instantly chatting on various topics. All one had to do was decide which "group" you wanted to post in (Newborn, Toddler, etc) then start posting and answering posts.

I took part in it for over a year. I say "took part" because I've cut the cord.

The blinders came off the other day and I realized how much nastiness and downright cruelty there was on that board. Sure, I'd seen it, but I ignored it. Shamefully enough, I took part in it sometimes. Plenty of times I was the object of someone's wrath. Women would be put down for being overweight and dieting or having "too many kids" or being "religious" in any way. There was plenty of anti-Semitism, though that would be denied. Being Jewish, what the h*ll was I doing there??

What changed me? I can't say it was one thing in particular. I just read women complaining about their DHs, their DCs and MILs and not doing much to help each other. Occasionally people would really come through and be supportive of another mom, but I didn't see this often. All I know is that I started seeing that board for what it was- toxic drivel and a waste of my time. 

Most importantly, that board wasn't making me a better mom or a better example to my son. I'd be mortified if he knew what I'd written in my anger to someone. I certainly didn't want him becoming like that part of me. 

To fill the need to talk and communicate outside of my family and friends, to be somewhat annonymous, to hopefully connect with someone else and help her- I am here now.

I am very new at writing a blog. I have one online that I've kept since Eric was a couple of months old. Maybe I'll post it here someday, or post parts of it. My hope is to write each week- or more. I really hope to connect with new friends here and enrich each others' lives with our words and experiences. 


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