My makeup bag contains one very old tube of foundation (because I only wear makeup on the rare occasions when my husband and I go out for dinner) and a few other dried up objects. I resorted to cutting my own hair when Mirabelle was a baby (because it just seemed easier than trying to work out a time when I could go to a hair salon, given she was breast fed, refused to ever take a bottle and never seemed able to go more than an hour or two without needing yet another feed).
Things have improved over time and I do now get my hair cut occasionally and wear clean clothes every day that are no longer stained with baby food and worse, but there are still days when I don't wash my hair and some when I don't shower either. I often don't brush my hair because I can't find my brush which means Mirabelle has removed and hidden it yet again. My husband is the sort of man who typically never used to notice changes in my appearance - a new outfit or haircut for example. But in recent years occasionally I have let things get so bad in the grooming department that he has unthinkingly blurted out such things as "you look different today" which loosely translated means "what the hell happened to you today??"
I have three pairs of jeans - all with the now famous "Mommy cleans the floor so often her jeans have knee holes". If we are spending the day at home my scruffiest pair of jeans are topped off with an old T-shirt and sweatshirt. If we are going out I wear my least scruffiest pair of jeans topped off with a slightly less aged T-shirt and one of my "best" sweatshirts. All my pre-Mommy clothes are gathering dust at the back of the closet but should really be thrown out as none of them fit me anymore.
I have more than once told my husband that if the magic fairy were to visit and grant me just one wish it would it thus: I would be able to wake up every morning, roll out of bed, click my fingers and be magically transformed into a well dressed woman wearing clean, expertly ironed clothing, already showered and slathered in skin preserving creams and potions, perfumed, hair immaculate, makeup subtle yet expertly applied and (maybe pushing my luck here) the bed made and the bathroom clean and tidy. My husband thinks that is a terrible waste of a magic wish (assuming such things existed which I know in reality they do not - honest, I do really, I've not gone quite that crazy, at least not yet). His exact words when I say this being "are you CRAZY, anyone in their right mind would just wish for millions of dollars!"
I however think that would be the very best use of a wish any Mom could ever imagine. Think of it - all those extra minutes you'd get in bed in the morning, not having to scramble out ahead of the inevitable wake up call and rush to get ready. In our house that means being deafened by "MOMMY WAKE UP, COME AND GET ME, RIGHT NOW!" when Mirabelle wakes up with the dawn (how I wish it would stay dark until at least 7am every morning of the year). You'd never have to go and get another hair cut so all those hours and expense you can spend on something else. You'd save time not making your bed or having to clean up a ravaged bathroom. You'd save aeons of time not having to wash and iron your clothes (I envisage when you throw something into the clothes hamper it magically overnight transports itself, cleaned and ironed, back onto a hangar in your closet). You'd not have to spend money you can't afford on expensive creams to iron out those wrinkes, none of which work because if they did they would cost even more money than they actually do as EVERYONE would want to buy them. You'd have all these wonderful makeup aids that would further mask every line and - I was going to say wrinkle again but at this stage we're really talking in my case about great big cracks - and make you look the best you can possibly be. Your (in my case) Old Navy sale bought T-shirt and Sweatshirt collection would be replaced with trendy Mom clothes that fitted you properly.
All of these things are great but most importantly of all being granted this wish would mean the following: It is the beginning of the day, you feel good about yourself and life and ready (or almost ready - I forgot to include in my wish a Starbucks Vente Latte waiting for me too) for the day ahead. That's priceless in my book.
Yes, I know it's not going to happen, but everyone has to dream!