Hate is a strong word...I don't like to use it and reserve it for situations where I feel very strongly. And this my friends is one of those days.
Here's why I hate mother's day.
When it was just me mother's day wasn't so bad. I would go home and spend the day with my family. My brother's and I would try to do something special for my mom but my mother is not very gracious about it. She doesn't usually like the gift you've given her (wrong color purse, wrong sized wallet, those are not the plants she likes, etc.). A few times we tried to take her out for lunch...she doesn't like to eat out! Yup you heard me, this woman would rather stay home and cook for everyone so that she knows what's in the food.
Then I married my husband. Mother's Day became a tug-of-war. To add to the tug-of-war Sunday my husband's birthday is always right around mother's day (and sometimes it falls on the actual day) this gives his mom ammunition as to why we need to be at her house on mother's day. She has a "special red plate" that the "special person" gets to eat off of. This plate is reserved for birthdays and other special occassions. While you would think that hubs would get it becuase of his birthday, he doesn't. She eats off of it because its mother's day. So when she pulls out the birthday excuse I get really annoyed because clearly we are going over there for mother's day.
Let the tug of war continue!
Then I became a mother! What a lovely & magical moment that was. Then came mother's day 2009, my first mother's day. The passive aggressive comments & questions began. Where will we take the baby for mother's day? It is his first mother's day (yeah, mine too people...oh, no one cares, right. got it).
To the MIL's?
"You know it is my son's birthday?". Yeah, lady I know I married him didn't I?
To my parent's?
"I really would love to see my first and only grandchild. You guys live so far away, he'll be married before I see him again. He won't recognize me." We live 2 hours away & you've seen him every 3 weeks or so.
So I say no to everyone and we choose to spend the day at home together just the three of us.
Apparently that was a terrible idea. I had created a fantasy day in my head and my husband had an epic fail. There was no card, no gift, no breakfast in bed, no picnic in the park, no stroller walk through the 'hood...nothing. My husband left the house to work out and cuddle with my baby on the couch as he slept on my chest.
My husband found me crying...he felt bad. "but you said you didn't want anything!" Yup I did say that - but I always say that...and it's my first mother's day and you should have known better (I usually don't do that...so I'll claim hormone induced crazy).
Then the real fireworks began and my mother got so angry at my brother and I that she disowned us (for 2 days). She was angry because neither of us called before noon. Apparently noon is the cut off and the fact that I was busy with a 5 month old and trying to enjoy my own mother's day wasn't enough for her. According to her I will one day learn the pain that a mother feels when he children forget about her.
This is the same woman who said that "everyday is mother's day". So why did I HAVE to call by noon??? I'm not sure...there has never been a deadline, at least that I was aware of.
So between the tug-of-war battle between our parents, my terrible memories of my first mother's day which mostly has to do with my mom disowning me for two days, and the overly glorified picture of what a proper mother's day is like I just really hate this holiday.
On friday my four year old brought me home a "hand made" handprint book mark and I'm just over the moon happy about that. No other gifts or cards for me - thank you. Wait I take that back...maybe they could go get mommy a latte from my favorite coffee shop...that my friends I would take in a heartbeat!
So to all you mommy's out there - happy mother's day! And as my "wise" mother says "every day is mother's day", but what she really means is "you better call and wish me a happy mother's day by noon or I will disown you".
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