I love the movie Elf, and was so excited to watch it with my five year old boy (G) and three year old girl (L). Here's how it went:
L: Tell me when the funny part is gonna come.
G: Elf! That says Elf!
L: That was funny.
L: Aww...a baby.
L and G: SANTA!
L: Where's that baby's mom? Me: Quick explanation of orphanages. L: Oh! Tears.
L: Where is that baby going? The baby's gone. Tears. Again.
G: That baby is in that bag!
L: When is the scary part gonna come? Is there a scary part?
G: What's a cotton-headed ninny muggins?
G: Buddy fell on that elf. L: The elf did this. Pats herself on the back. That was nice. I hope Buddy's okay. Me: He's fine. He just fainted. G: What's "fainted?"
G: New York City?! We've been there! Why didn't you tell me it was a magical place?
L: His dad's on the naughty list?!
L: This show is too grown-upy. Can we watch My Little Pony?
L: Elf's sad. G: His name is Buddy.
L: Why is his name Mr. Normal? Me: It's Mr. Narwhal. L: Oh.
L: He just wanted a hug.
G: This movie isn't silly enough.
G: What's he eating? Me: Old gum that naughty people stuck on that rail instead of throwing away. G: Yuck. L: Yuck.
G: He's pushing all the buttons! You aren't supposed to do that.
G: What did he put in his mouth? Me: Perfume. G: What's perfume?
G and L: Laughing super hard at the escalator scene. L: He's doing that funny. G: Imitates Buddy by attempting to do the splits.
G: Ha! He said, "Hey did you see these toilets? They're ginormous!"
L: He's making a mess. Oh, he's making those snowflake things out of paper!
G: Whoa! He made that whole thing out of Legos?
G: That girl's in the shower. Smiling.
G: Laughing. He ran into the wall.
G: That's not the real Santa. See! Buddy knows, too.
L: What's happening? Me: The fake Santa and Buddy are fighting. L: That's not nice.
G: Laughing. A lot. Look at the present Buddy's dad got! That's funny. Why did Buddy's dad get a girl boob thing for a present?
G: Is that jail? Why is he in jail? Why is that guy playing cards by himself? Why isn't the fake Santa in jail, too?
L: What is he eating? Me: Cotton balls. L: WHAT?! G: I wonder why he likes cotton balls? L: Elves just like to eat cotton balls. Me: DO NOT try to eat cotton balls.
G: Can we watch something else? L: Yeah! My Little Pony! Me: No.
G: I HAVE to try syrup on my spaghetti.
G and L: Laughing. Hard. G: That was a really long burp.
G: Why is he eating spaghetti for breakfast? Why is he eating it like that? L: He's being dirty. Dirty and messy.
L: Oh no! What's happening? G: Those kids are throwing snowballs at Buddy and that boy. G: Whoa. He throws snowballs really fast.
G: They shouldn't be running in a store. L: Uh oh. They're jumping on the beds!
G: That kid said he's Buddy brother. He's not Buddy's brother. Me: Yes he is. G: Oh.
L: He pulled that Christmas tree down. Oops.
G: How does Buddy know all of those people's names? What does "You just made my day" mean?
L: Why are they laughing? G: They're drunk. If grown-ups drink too much beer or wine, they get really funny. Me: No they don't. They get really annoying and think dumb stuff is funny. L: I think it's because they're tickling each other.
L: He's holding hands with that girl.
G: Mom! Look! It's that statue we saw in New York City AND on that singing Christmas show the other night! (Christmas in Rockefeller Center) L: They're ice skating. Ooh...now they're kissing.
G: His dad is really mad. L: Why is he mad? Oh. Buddy is sad.
G: A skateboard? Awesome! Do you think I'm in that book?
L: Oh! There's no Christmas spirit!
L: They have a baby!
G: Mommy? NOW can we watch something else? L: My Little Pony!
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