I am a 33 year old single mother. I started dating a young man who manages an Auto Shop about two months ago. After work this evening we met at his house and hung out for a little bit and ended up having sex. Before I allowed him to push himself into me I told him to hold on for just a sec and pulled a tampon out and threw it on the ground next to my side of the bed. (I am not on my period.) I had almost forgotten it was there or I'd have taken it out sooner. Forgive me but I have been a bit sick lately and when I cough I can't seem to keep complete control of my bladder! It's been like this ever since giving birth. Understandable I know, but embarrassing none the less. I don't want to go hang out at my boyfriends with Depends On! Could you imagine?
Ah, well after tonight I don't think that I am quite so sure which is truly better?
After pleasuring ourselves we laid around caressing each other without a care in the world. When it was time to get up he was looking around for his shirt and right about the time he turns on the lights and reaches for his shirt to find a tampon on the ground and he had picked it up & he immediately put it in my hand and said "Here's you tampon." I couldn't even look at him I had turned beat red and my mind started racing and I just started babbling. I was completely mortified and wondered what he thought of it. I jumped up and said "Don't make me have to explain!" I think I almost sounded angry. He looked at me though my eyes could not reach his and said, "I won't make you explain anything you don't want to sweetheart, it's alright." Then I babbled on stomping to the bathroom to throw it away telling him all the while "That I had it in not because I am on my period but because I'm a mom, I'm sick and when I cough real hard I'll pee!" I could hear him say, Thank you for telling me that. While I was in the bathroom.
I came back to the bedroom finished putting on my clothes then sat at the foot of the bed while he at the top talking on the phone. I could not speak, I could not look at him, and I had all sorts of nervous energy almost bringing me to tears throughout my entire body. I sat there for what felt like five minutes just looking at the ground. I wondered if that freaked him out to the point where he may not want to see me again. When he got off the phone I kept my eyes to the ground and told him, "I am sorry. I was just so embarrassed." He pulled me up into his arms and cradled my face with his hands and looked me in my eyes and kissed my lips hard and told me, “It’s really okay, it doesn't bother me. Uncontrollable things happen to our bodies and there is nothing you should feel embarrassed about." He kissed me again and kissed my forehead then leaned his against mine and just held me for a moment. I was so relieved when he did that, yet still a little terrified.
We both had to leave so we walked to our cars kissed and hugged again got in our trucks and left. I'm not sure if I had been breathing that whole time. For in the car I was still in shock. I placed my hand on my throat and just drove slow. I turned on the music and that didn’t feel better so I turned it right back off. Lit a smoke and tried to forget about it.
After getting home a glass of wine sounded good I poured myself a glass of La Crema Pinot Noir, turned on some music sat down, lit a smoke and opened my lap top, it was a perfect opportunity to write this all out and roll it around in my own head at the same time. While doing so I have realized it really isn’t that big a deal. If it is to him than he’s not mature enough.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this please.
Estrella Del Norte
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