There has been a heartbreak in my tiny little community, One of our beloved special needs children has passed on. Like a storm that comes in the night out of nowhere, emotions have stirred me to the core. A reality that one Mother now faces each day without the smile of this boy she has dedicated the past 19 years to. This is the fear we as a community live with each day, simple tasks like laying your child down for bed become a fear for tomorrow. When a tragedy hits so close to home we all take a moment to put ourselves in their shoes, grateful that it wasn’t us but broken hearted that is was them.
My heart breaks for this woman and her family as they face each moment of this new reality. As much pain as I feel for them I imagine the pain they are in is far worse. I cannot find the words to comfort her or even begin to understand how she might feel. So I wrapped my arms around her and told her “I am here” as the tears streamed down her face, I looked around the crowded room with all the children who knew her child and all their parents standing by , I realized we are one. Our own community of support and understanding, a community that is small but powerful a room full of parents that deal with the same challenges, somberly hoping this reality will not become ours. Our children here with us as we support this family, the strength that they exude is remarkable and at the same time a reminder of what side of the room we are on today could very simply change tomorrow. The fear and sadness painted on the parents faces as the children struggle to understand the sadness in the room. Without words spoken we all make eye contact as to let each other know we are here, we are not alone.
With each day that we are blessed with, we sometimes get caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle and we take on what life has handed us. Going through the motions, The possibility of this touching our lives is an ugly truth we as parents of special needs kids try to put in the back of our minds, not wanting to look at the “what if’s” An unwanted reminder of what could be has shaken us all and I choose to change who I am because Denial is the shadows I have chosen to live in.
I for one will no longer take for granted the moments I have with any of my children. I am guilty of being too tired or in need of a break. Its normal, especially when you are mothering a child with special needs. This however has changed my perception and I vow to be 100% present at all times. To make each day matter, to never turn down a hug, to hold my kids closer a little longer and to take what is really important in my life, which is my family and put them above all things. To Laugh each day, to Love with all I have and to Live like there is no tomorrow.
Always remembered , Forever our friend. Rest in Peace sweet boy.
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