What I've learned about Life through Co-parenting
I used to look at being a divorced woman as one of the greatest failures of my adult life. As time has gone by and healing has solidified itself within my own life and spirit, I have changed my self talk to a more positive stance. I am able to honor the person I met and fell and love with and the changes and circumstances which occurred which led to the ultimate decision to end our married relationship. Like so many others marriage ended with a lot of hurt, confusion, and lack of support.
Divorce and breakups are traumatic to the heart and psyche and can lead to feelings of victimization on all sides. When we feel victimized we can rationalize our behavior and can engage in acts which surprise ourselves and even those we love. Breakups can bring out the very worse in everyone. Culturally we do not have a frame for divorce or endings which does not leave us with a burden of a broken legacy for ourselves and/or the children involved.
I navigated divorce as a parent. I don't feel like the divorce ended when the papers were signed filed. Instead it took us many years to navigate from a very destructive place which took years of processing to a place of moving toward healing. As a parent we can decide that our story is the most important; our victimization is more important to hold on to rather than being an act of forgiveness and healing in the world which works as an example to our children.
I have in no means conquered all there is to in the arena of co-parenting. I have a long way to go and a lifetime to learn it. There are fundamentals I feel comfortable enough sharing at this stage of our development which I hope will get you to thinking. Even if you are not married or divorced or co-parenting I can guess you know someone who is and you just might be a support person who can help them in their journey. I've learned a lot about life, forgiveness, empathy, healing, and love through this journey of co-parenting.
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