The Listening Gift

3 years ago

Gift giving comes in many forms. It can be intangible and it can be subliminal.  During this holiday season of giving perhaps someone new will enter your life. A new friendship may be on the horizon. Wouldn’t it be great going in with a new skill?  This skill is called Active Listening.

Active listening is a term used in many forms of coaching. It requires stillness and total presence with no judgment, no need to be right, defensive nor should there be any distraction.  Without pure objectivity, you cannot really hear. 

7 Point Formula for Active Listening

1. No ego
There is no ego in communicating. There is an exchange of thoughts and ideas. There is an engagement. There are no distractions in quiet conversation.

2. Open-mindedness
Objectivity creates an interest and openness to learning something new and important.

3, Interruptions Couple Arguing crop
If you are truly listening, it is about what is being said. Unnecessary interjections, answering a cell phone, uninvited guests all sway the conversation. They are often unavoidable, but do go back to what was being said to recall the essence of the topic.

4. Patience and Tolerance
Your response in conversation is only followed by hearing an entire thought.

5. Turn your phone off
Being present does not require external stimulus.

6. Wait for a moment then respond
If you are thinking about what you are about to say, sitting at the edge of your seat, trying to get your point across, you are not listening. Be still. It is about being caring and polite. What you have to say is no more important than their contribution.

Talking Girls 2 -

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7. Eye Contact 
If you are making eye contact, you are expressing interest and promoting lively conversation.

Someone is taking the time to talk with you. Someone is giving something precious to you – their time. Honor that with active listening. This is a gift to you both…

Happy Hanukkah past, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa and Happy New Year to all…

Marcia Richman, CPC for T2B



Feature Image retrieved from

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