Juxtaposition of lives and.... avoiding the trappings of cliche.

7 years ago

I spend a lot of my time musing about my life BC (before children), but I spend a larger amount of time examining, exploring, reminiscing and kvetching a bit about my life now with 4!!!! kids as opposed to my life, years ago, with just 1 - my oldest, quite a bit older than her sibs - the child who enjoyed all the one on one time with me and hubby - the kid who now tells us she longed for little brothers and sisters for years - then, in the next breath, tells us how much they annoy her ;-). It fascinates me - the difference in these two lives of mine. And ... trust me.... it is a world of difference - often, the "old" life seems further away than just shy of 6 years ago (when Enzo made his entrance into our lives - followed quickly by Milo and Lil).

These musings and memories often hit me out of nowhere. I have dinner at a Chinese restaurant, and I remember Olivia pulling a bowl of hot and sour soup onto my lap - back when my Dad was still alive and he and my Mom, having just moved back from Europe, were adjusting to their new US lives - frequenting this particular restaurant where they got to know the family who owned it - working in the yard of the house they'd just built, etc. Eventually, I moved from Virginia to Ohio to live, and my Dad had a huge swingset / treehouse built in that yard - we continued to get fabulous Chinese food at that restaurant, and we did so much more. Sometimes, it is a flood of memories.

When I write, I try to avoid cliched language and example. Some days, it is unavoidable - like today - it is definitely chilly with a hint of fall in the air and the light is so definitely dappled - leaves rustling - no way around it (I mean, geez.... someone was even burning leaves last night - how wonderful and cliched can you get? Truly the stuff of memories ;-). Anyway, I've been inspired lately by this "bigger picture" moments "movement" in which some valued and wonderful bloggers in my community have been engaging (see button lower on my page :-). I like how moments that can seem harried and terrible at the time - in retrospect, can seem so perfect and pure (remember late night feedings with babies - the ballet recital or Christmas pageant during which the camera broke and your kid didn't sing or smile the whole time? Priceless, right?). So... in that vein - that non-cliched, "here's an unusual / direct way to tell a story or make a point" way, I have posted some bittersweet snippets of my life - dinner alone with my little ones - not a true adult conversation in sight - for days sometimes! A block party that brings lovely memories of dear departed neighbors and kids who were not disinterested teenagers at the time but... instead... helpful, eager grade schoolers. I hope that I haven't lead anyone to believe that I am at all unhappy with any of these situations - these passages - indicators that life does not stay the same and routine is short-lived - childhood fleeting (and there's one of those unavoidable cliches ;-). They bring me huge amounts of joy - I am grateful for all of the contributors and collaborators to my life and my family - I am learning to embrace change, and I adapting my life to it. So... with that, I leave you with - first, a beautiful photo of that teenager in my life - that firstborn who enjoyed a chaos-free existence for a while - and, second, a recent video of the other three crazies (at a park yesterday) who have brought us such adventure and joy.

Today, I have a dinner and mass for my Dad and other members of his family who are no longer with us. Some passages, obviously, are more difficult than others. Trendy Mom @www.trendymomcafe.blogspot.com

This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.
comments

More from parenting

Parenting
by Lindsey Hunter Lopez | in 3 hours
Parenting
by Sarah Bradley | in 3 hours
Parenting
by Maryal Miller | in an hour
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 18 hours ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 19 hours ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 20 hours ago
Parenting
by Claire Gillespie | a day ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 2 days ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 2 days ago
Parenting
by Monica Beyer | 2 days ago
Parenting
by Maryal Miller | 2 days ago
Parenting
by YourTango | 3 days ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 3 days ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 3 days ago