My husband father and stepmom had been married for over 40 years when he died suddenly 2 days before Christmas. This was over 3 yrs ago now. His stepmom has been part of his life for so long it's hard from him to remember her not being there, we love her and the 2 stepbrothers like we do our own parents and brothers. We still include them in all family parties and celebrations. To us, nothing has changed. But....
Lately we are the ones being left out of their famiy gatherings. Starting last February when the stepmom made birthday dinner plans for one of the stepbrothers and didn't include us. Just her 2 sons and their wife/girlfriend. When I commented on being left out she quickly invited us (awkward) and applogized for the oversite. She felt really bad, but I guess not that bad becasue it happened again just this past week. She took her 2 sons out to celebrate the new daughter's in law birthday. She said that she wanted to make a bigger deal out of it, including aunts, cousins and us. Being that the daughter in law in new into the family...so we have been moved to second team? Not part of the inter circle? Not part of the core family anymore?
My step mom in law is 79 and getting a little forgetful but still? I just don't get it. She has no problem calling me to drive her downtown or calling her "son" about a car issue. I am trying not to have hurt feelings. It is new for her to have other daughters in laws, I've been the only one pretty much the entire time my husband and I have been married (34 yrs). She can always count on us. We were her rock after my father in law died, we handled everything for her. Funeral, lawyers, while her 2 sons didn't do a thing. I always figured it was because my husband is the oldest and they do all let him handle things.
I love my mother in law with all my heart, I've been there with her through 2 surgeries, helping with her care, my husband is the one who helps her out with keeping her fianances in order, goes to the lawyer with her. Always the supportive ones, all the while her 2 sons can't even go over and take down her Christmas lights till March. The lights that my husband and I put up for her. Her sons were too busy, one motorcycle riding for the day or the other....who knows.
Just needed to get this off my chest.
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