I tell my story because I have to…Writing to heal my wounds

5 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

All sorrow can be borne if we put them in a story or tell a story about them.       Isak Dinesen author of Out of Africa

The last year and a half of my life has been a compilation of hellish moments mixed with miracles, these are just a few of them:

I birth twins

my husband slapped me and I pulled a gun on him,

my twins crying stopped me from pulling the trigger,

they were 3 months old,

I kicked him out instead,

we went to counseling,

we reconciled,

we enjoyed our girls,

we endured financial upsets and voluntary repossession,

I recommitted to my health,

I began purging again,

we celebrated our 7th anniversary,

I found out my husband cheated on me with a one night stand after I put him out,

we went back to counseling,

I no longer trust him,

I want a divorce,

I don’t want a divorce,

we celebrated the twins 1st birthday my twins are walking,

my oldest is in dance class and she told me I was her best friend,

I am paranoid,

I am still purging,

I’m also drinking,

I love my life,

 I hate my life,

my students call me mom and tell me I am the best counselor,

my boss told me I am doing a good job, I hate my job, I want to run away,

I could never run away,

EXHALE!!!!

This process is like peroxide to my wounds, it stings a little and it bubbles letting me know that there is still some dirt lingering and until it no longer foams signaling that I am still soiled I will continue to write.

May my pain be peroxide to your wounds, stinging as it cleanses.

bandage

What say you??

from MoodyMommi.com

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