Dear Mouthy Housewives,
School just started and one of the moms in my middle schooler's class is already hitting me up to do volunteer work for the political candidate I don't support. I tried to be polite. I really tried. But I finally told her straight out that I support her candidate's opponent. Instead of backing off, she now wants to "debate the issues." I'm not interested. How do I get her to stop?
Please Tell Me Election Day is Almost Here
Dear Please Tell Me Election Day is Almost Here,
As if it's not bad enough this mom probably convinced you to spend two hours in the dunk tank without a wet suit at your school fundraising fair and likely enlisted you to sew 40 butterfly outfits for the spring insect play, now you have to stump for her candidate?!
Plus, due to your rational and normal desire to not volunteer for a candidate you don't support, she wants to debate the issues? Tell her yes, you would be happy to debate an issue that is very near to your heart. The issue of Mom on Mom Political Bullying. Moms are supposed to help each other out, trading worn copies of mom porn and sharing the best discounts around town on box wine. Not trying to force you to support political candidates you would never vote for, even if someone promised you that Ryan Lochte would never again say, "Jeah!" Well, maybe in that case.
Here is a three prong approach to getting this woman to back off:
1. Let her know that you are not interested in debating the issues, unless it's the ole which would you rather have on a deserted island... unlimited malt balls, Channing Tatum or your most slimming bathing suit.
2. If she is still aggressively approaching you, let her know that because of your deep desire to preserve your "friendship," you would never want to discuss politics with her. Or religion. Or the fact that you heard her singing along to Flo Rida's "Blow My Whistle" at school drop off. And she knew all the words.
3. Finally, tell her, that if she wants you in that dunk tank again or sewing those play costumes, then she better back off. Because you have a full fall TV schedule ahead of you and not a lot of time to deal with her insanity.
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