I hear this a lot from parents. They say they’ve tried everything and nothing works. That their kids are more strong willed, feisty, active, autistic, ADHD, defiant or just more difficult than other kids.
Well, I’ve worked with all those kids and haven’t met one yet who doesn’t react positively to discipline. Sometimes more creativity and thought is put into challenges like autism, as our expectations have to be realistic to their abilities. But it’s all good.
“Lisa, you haven’t met difficult until you’ve met my child!” I love reminding parents of that AFTER their defiant child is now respecting their rules. I’m not really saying “I told you so” … okay … maybe a bit.
I’ll bet if you knew your kids were going to react positively to rules, chores, etc. you’d have no problem handing them out.
Parents who are struggling with discipline fall into 3 categories:
- Want change but not ready to make it = no results.
- Want change, try a couple of things but not consistent = no results.
- Want change and commit 100% = amazing results.
Notice that the 2nd group tries a few things but still gets no results. The reason for this is that children sense that you aren’t committed and know that with a bit of pushing, they can maintain control.
What if I told you there’s an easy way to be in the 3rd group? That if you just dove in and took charge of the family the kids would get right on board?
What if I also told you that your kids are waiting for you to take charge? Even your teenagers?
Would you be ready to make any changes necessary to achieve this? To be in charge of the family and have the kids respect you?
The parents who get right on board with discipline are no different from you. They’re just as busy, love their kids just as much, and are just as confused by all the conflicting parenting advice out there. They’ve just made a decision to take control of the family and not relinquish control to their children’s peers, school, etc.
One of the most common myths about parenting is that your children are going to be controlled by peers, teachers, etc. no matter what you do. That those people have a lot more power than you do. Yes, that will happen if you are not leaders for your children to follow, if you don’t have their respect. But once you GET their respect, you have ALL the power as they trust you and feel good about themselves around you.
The other people in their lives will have influence, but you have all the power by being a strong leader for your children to turn to. It’s just the way it goes, I’ve seen it time and time again with clients who started out being skeptical but decided to give this a try. To see the transformation in the kids is okay, but it’s the parents who really get to me. They tell me about all the new systems they’ve set up and how their kids respect them … it’s really beautiful and why I do what I do.
Never be afraid to discipline as discipline is love. I know it’s hard when you are pecking at it here and there, it’s impossible that way actually. You simply have to get a plan in place.
I’ve postponed delivering my “3 Step Parenting Plan Mastery” video series as ran it by some past clients who understand all this and they’ve suggested a few changes. They were where many of you are, so I rely on them to help make this as clear as possible.
It will be up soon and is complimentary as I want you to succeed. I want you to enjoy parenting. I want you to be a great leader for your children to respect.
You can still use the “3 Step Parenting Plan” on your own, the mastery video series is just an indepth explanation on how to set it up and keep it running.
If you need help now, you know where to find me.
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