A Humorous Letter To My Children

 

 

Dear Munchie and Ducky,

 
On most nights you both seem rather upset by your bedtimes. You fight going to bed as if your lives depended on it. Teary and red eyed, exhausted, and practically delirious you make your last stands. I think you two feel as though by going to bed you will be missing out on a lot of interesting, important, and amusing activities in the living room.
 
Unfortunately, I think it is time we told you, you are right. Most of the fun activities happens after we put you to bed.
 
You know that board game we told you to leave alone because it is really boring? We lied. We just didn’t want you losing all the tiny pieces. It is what we do after you are asleep.
 
Those voices you think you may have heard while half dreaming? They are usually the TV (because we don’t just watch Yo Gabba Gabba, we have our own shows), but once in a while, we have people over, and we have a party. And as much as we love you, you are not invited.
 
Aside from the soda you are not allowed to have, there is this thing called rum. We mix it with the soda every once in a while to unwind after you have been complaining, screaming, and whining for the past three hours.
 
I am sorry we have to tell you this, but we feel you are old enough. Sleep tight!
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