I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since my oldest was born. That's been almost nine years. Sure, I’ve done some freelance writing and consulting, but I consider myself a full-time mom and wife. I breastfed for about 3 years between the two of my boys. I took them to play groups, preschool and after school activities.
I will admit that when someone tells me I’m a good mom, my self-esteem goes up a little bit. Ok, a lot. I want to be a good great mom. I want my time spent with them to be well spent.
When I post a picture of my kids, I want you to tell me how cute they are.
When I tell an off the wall story about something they said or did, I want you to agree with me and tell me how funny they are or how right I am.
I don’t want you to judge me harshly. Please don’t tell me that I’m saying or doing the wrong thing. Please just reassure me.
I promise you I’m trying to do the right thing. I’m trying to raise my children as best I know how. Every single time I go through a new phase or a new challenge, I’m going through it for the first time. I’m not a professional. I have no experience in parenting except my first person experience. I can only tell you how I dealt with my kids at that time.
I admit it, I feel better when someone “likes” my Facebook or Twitter status about my kids. I feel even better when they say something positive.
I’m not consumed with being a mom; I do feel there is a part of me that isn’t a mom. I have hopes and dreams outside of my children, but let’s get real -- my kids are my life right now. Right now, at this moment in time, my kids are my life. If I suck at being a mom, it’s my fault and my failure.
If they are good kids, I am acknowledged.
If they are bad kids, I get berated.
Don’t judge me for trying to be the best mom I can be. Please, just tell me you understand.
No one else can be their mom, so I’m going to do my best and try to be the kind of mom they talk about when they are older. Hopefully, they’ll talk about the fun times we had: playing ball in the park, going to Sonic for ice cream after school, coloring together, butchering chickens…
So, please, if you don’t have something nice to say, back off and at least try to make your judgments sound nice.
Photo Credit: Julie Rybarczyk.
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