When you’re shopping with five small children, the trip can often be
deemed successful if you leave with the bare essentials on your list,
nothing in the store gets broken, there are no potty accidents on aisle
five and nobody gets injured in the parking lot on the way to a car.
(Thanks again, Stranger Who Saved the Day, for the bandages from the
glove box of your NRA tagged pick-up when Micah’s pinky fingernail was
ripped clean off, in the pouring rain, by the wheel of a shopping
Just because you can’t predict what’s going to happen with all of
the variables present (um, that’s a euphemism for children), it doesn’t
mean that you can’t try to have some semblance of order.
Here are my three shopping rules:
1. Reverse single file. This means to form a line
behind the parent-in-the-lead in reverse age order. This way, the
oldest child (my Thomas is eight) can help keep an eye on the middle
children and is bringing up the rear so that we don’t have any
stragglers. Especially on smaller aisles here in Japan, where two
people are the equivalent of a road block, in this formation we can
maneuver quickly and without crashing into any old ladies. If someone
wants to look at something, they can ask me and we’ll go over and look
together. If Tom is with me, especially in very crowded places, one of
us will lead and the other will bring up the rear. ( You might laugh
and call me militant, but have you ever lost a four year old on the
subway in Tokyo? Yeah. Thought so.)
2. Hands behind your back or in your pockets. I
inherited this rule from my father. He is a woodworking artisan. When
my siblings and I were young, my dad used to take us with him to art
shows and antique stores while he met customers and solicited new
business. He knew the shop owners and, so long as we promised to obey
this rule, they’d let us into their stores even when there were “No
Children Under Age 13 Allowed” signs posted. (Oh yes, these signs do
exist!) This rule works just as well in an aisle of glass jarred
condiments as it does in a curio shop. If one of my children would like
to touch something, they can ask me for help and we can look at it
together… after I peek at the price tag first!
3. Ninja Stealth Mode. My kids came up with this
name. It means to be quiet in the store, and to walk in a way that no
one can hear you. This is the shopping version of The Quiet Game.
If you aim for total silence, you’ll probably end up with “indoor
voices”, which works just fine. (The children are convinced that no one
can see or hear them while they’re in Ninja Stealth Mode. If you tell
them otherwise, I’ll have to kill you.)
Being respectful of the store and other customers is something many
adults have never learned. It’s important to teach children how to
behave when they are young so that when they’re old, they’re only
playing “monkey in the middle” if they can afford to buy every item on
Humor aside, please don’t drag your children along on “shop
until you drop” excursions or be insensitive to your children’s basic
needs while you’re out and about. If a long days of errands
simply cannot be avoided, be sure to plan for snack and potty breaks.
You may be able to survive 10 stores in a row without emptying your
bladder or stopping at the vending machine for some juice re-hydration,
but your dear children cannot. In my post about biting, I addressed how unmet physical needs can contribute to bad behavior. The same ideas apply here.
By the way, there will be times that you’ll follow all the rules and
you’ll momentarily lose a child or someone will steal a pack of orange Tic-Tacs. These incidents make for tender teaching moments for the whole family… not to mention great blog fodder. Remember: God is merciful, and He’s still in charge even when you kid yourself and think you have it all together, but don’t.
What are you tips for shopping with children?
Photo credit: “Just Sayin’” by Divine Harvester
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