I anticipated tremendous changes and sacrifices when I was blessed with my beautiful baby girl, but there are so many changes within myself that I did not anticipate. Having a baby changed me in ways I never thought it could; it has opened my eyes to see the world from a whole new perspective and those sacrifices that I was anticipating have turned out to be beautiful blessings.
Physically carrying another human being has given me a whole new respect for my body. I watched my body create a baby over nine short months and transform into a size and shape that I absolutely loved. I felt the most beautiful when I was pregnant, and I can only hope that one day I will be able to do it all over again. I was lucky enough to be one of those women who loved every moment of pregnancy, but I also think it's my personality: I focus on the positive and the good always outweighed the negative symptoms.
Now postpartum, I struggle with body image issues, but so does every woman. I think our perception of the ideal woman's body is so warped thanks to the media and Photoshop. I now consciously try to work on positive self talk, mostly because I have a little girl and I know my body image and self-esteem will have an effect on her one day. Let me rephrase that, I know that my body image and self esteem does have an impact on her, even at just under two-years-old. With that being said, I also have a tremendous amount of respect for my body and what it has done, what it has given Adam and myself.
I used to care a lot about what others thought of me. I am what you would call a "people pleaser," and I have a hard time saying no. Since becoming a mother, that has all changed. I still care about how others perceive me but in a different way. I want people to see me as the person I really am, therefore I won't just agree to fit in anymore. At this point in my life I know that it is not my responsibility to make people like me; if people don't like me that is their issue, not mine. I am the truest form of myself I have ever been since having a baby; for the first time in my life I am confident in who I am, even with all the quirks.
I am also getting better at doing things for me. I am still a very selfless person, but I now realize the importance of taking care of my own needs and well-being in order to be the mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter I want to be.
Becoming a Mama made me want to be a better person. I want to be a good role model for my daughter. I want her to learn how good it feels to be selfless. Having a child makes me feel this tremendous responsibility to do good, to be the person I want my child to grow into. Lord knows I am not perfect, but I try harder than I ever have before because of my daughter.
I've learned that my love is limitless and my heart is bigger than I could have ever imagined. When I married my husband, I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as he, just like now I can't imagine loving anyone else as much as I do Adam and Scarlett. That's the thing about love though, it is limitless and it is contagious.
Photo Credit: Rolphotos
I take the time to slow down and relish the beauty in all of the little things around us. Her first steps, her first words, that one time she held me so tight and wouldn't let go. I want to remember these things, I want to remember all of the little details and how I felt in those moments.
This is why I blog, so I don't forget them. I want to read back one day and remember exactly how I felt in those moments. I want her to read back one day and know that she has always been loved, that she always will be fiercely loved by two parents who know they are beyond blessed to have her in their lives.
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