Helicopter parents constantly justify their actions, and they typically "yell" loudest at parents who condemn. Typically, their defenses for their actions are, “I will do anything to give my child a leg up, what is wrong with that?,” and “I have to have my child’s back.” Or, “I rather be over involved that not involved.” No one is suggesting not to be involved, the suggestion is "backing off." It is sad, these helicopter parents have no idea the actual damage they are doing to their children. What does smothering do? It kills!
In addition, these parents typically don’t want to know what their own children say behind their backs. These kids know better than to say anything to their parents. Matter of fact, I love when parents say, “I talk with my kids and ask them and they say they love my involvement.” (I just want to roll my eyes at that point.) But, I dutifully say, “Wow, that is great, so glad you have such open communication.” (Insert my finger down my throat.)
You have to understand I was a High School teacher, I listened to a lot of stories while students thought I was doing something else, and if half those parents heard their kids, they would be crushed, just crushed. Anyway, back to the Helicopter parents who think their children are telling them their true feelings.
Of course, the Kid will say, “No, I love having you do …” For a lot of reasons -- mostly kids don’t want to hurt their parents feelings. Believe or not kids do love their parents, not to mention they love all the perks too, because typically Helicopter parents also spoil. So you know iPads, iPods, and the latest iPhones are worth the meddling.
Oh, and kids are lazy. If parents will do it, then by golly let them! I mean, kids will be kids! If a parent is willing to do all the research for colleges and such, well, why not? I often wonder if Helicopter parents remember being teenagers. Why do they think it is so different today?
Anyway, the little dickens do occasionally find little spots to write their true thoughts and feelings. Check out Teenagerposts.tumblr.com. Huffington Post found theTeenagerPosts and listed the top 20 from teenagers that posted #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen
Oh, and the Tumblr posts, are typical teenagers; a lot of it is about THEM, wait, it is all about them. I meant to say you will find a lot of teenage angst about friends, love and school; it isn’t just a place to slam home!
Teenagers!!! My favorite group. Actually, I loved the middle school kids.
Overall, I beg parents if you want to really give your kids "a leg up" then start "backing off" in middle school. Let them start becoming little adults; slowly but surely, you will be proud as you let them find their way! A guide from the side. Hovering and smothering both hinder and clip their wings!
I am sorry to say, there is nothing good about being labeled a Helicopter parent. A good parent takes stock of their parenting and puts their child first.
Do you like it when someone hovers over you? Really and truly think about that question.
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