Working Moms Don't Choose for Their Babies to Die

5 years ago

The phone rang late Tuesday night.

"Hey. That preschool that you have been considering for the Supergirl? A kid died there today. It's on the news."


I prayed for the parents, for the staff that I have met and talked to, for the owners of the school who I have known for years.

What happened?

No one knew. The news offered nothing more than a matter of fact, "A child has died at Tiny Town Daycare. More information will be reported as it becomes available."

The next day, at work, I see a post from a former co-worker and friend. A friend that has suffered through infertility, gone through the foster care system, and who had finally adopted a beautiful baby girl. A baby girl that was born addicted to drugs. That had been through multiple surgeries on her precious heart due to complications of the birth mother's drug use. I had prayed for her, with her.

She was so happy to be a mother, finally. She is one of those women that just is a mother. Even before she had children, she was a mother.

Her baby died. At school, during naptime. She just fell asleep and never woke up.

And my heart aches for her, for the owners of the preschool, for the teachers that were in the room with her.

Weeping Angel

But the anger that I feel about the unfairness of this situation (for everyone involved), is less than what I am feeling for the unrelenting, hate mongers who commented on the news story.

Women that choose to work, are choosing this for their children.

Women that love themselves and their things more than they love their babies, shouldn't have children.

Working is a choice, you are choosing not to do what is best for your baby.


Let's use me as a case in point, just so that you understand where I am coming from, for the purposes of this test.

When the Supergirl was born, I had a job. The Hubs had a job. His job paid a little more than mine, because he was part of management and had been with this family-owned company for quite some time. The owners sold out. The new company decided to close down the office in our market. He was laid off.

He was out of work for 2 years. Two years.

Supergirl continued to go to daycare so that he could apply for jobs, interview, etc. It was hard. I worked two jobs to make ends meet. There was a bankruptcy somewhere in there.

Fast forward another two years. The Hubs can only get a job that pays $8.50 per hour. That's take home pay of $1200 per month for those of you playing along at home. Please tell me how we are supposed to pay rent in Tiny Town (which is also a super-expensive rent College Town) and buy groceries, pay bills, etc. on $1200 per month. You can't. Most single people cannot make ends meet on only $1200 per month.

The same trolls that accuse this mother of not loving her child enough would probably also accuse her of being a drain on the system should she choose to quit her job and be a SAHM.

This back and forth and push the guilt and place the blame has got to stop. I pray that my friend never sees the things that people have said about her and her ability to parent. Even without her name, her information, her story, they still feel like they have a right to point the finger.

Don't you think that she is doing it enough to herself already?


Photo Credit: terra-alchemist.

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