How to Deal with Friends who make you Sick & Tired
Friendships can be a beautiful thing and at the same time bring you lots of stress in your life if you aren’t careful. It’s a fine balance between things that your friends do that get on your nerves and what constitutes “ending a friendship”? There is no crystal ball to predict that a particular friend will turn out to be a reliable, positive relationship in your life or, by contrast, that a negative association will cause you emotional distress, or worse. All I can tell you is these are some of the ways in dealing with friends who might be borderline.
1. Never Reliable Friend. This friend constantly disappoints you or breaks promises and seems unable to stop herself from repeating that pattern. You could abandon the friend or find a way to detach yourself by lowering your expectations for this friendship. Start telling your friend everything starts 30 minutes earlier, if you know she is going to be late nine times out of 10. Relieve yourself the stress in advance.
2. The Back-Stabber Friend. This negative friend betrays you big-time. It could happen when someone does something to hurt you, such as spreading a malicious rumor about you. The Double-crosser may have some real emotional issues that need to be addressed if you are to continue a friendship with her. If your friend was betrayed by a parent or sibling during her formative years, she may have a need to repeat that behavior with her friends. If you do decide to walk away from this friendship, do it in a low-key way that avoids conflict.
3. It’s All About Me Friend. This friend does not care; she listens to you only because she is waiting to speak. Perhaps, in a gentle and non-offensive way, you could ask your friend if she seems to notice that the give-and-take is unequal, that she shares more about her life than you get to share about yours. You might want to plan an activity to share that minimizes this problem, such as playing tennis, going to the movies, or taking a class together.
4. Can’t Hold Water Friend. When you say to this friend, "This is just between us," she nods her head but unfortunately that promise will last only as long as it takes her to get to her phone or e-mail. Although there should be an assumption of confidentiality and trust between friends, this friend can't help herself. Avoid telling your innermost secret -- unless you don't mind if it's shared with the world. If you want to maintain your relationship, perhaps it should be on a less frequent or less confidential basis.
5. Me Too Friend. Too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. You can help the situation, however, by trying to avoid setting up overly competitive situations. Helping to heighten this fault with your friend by saying, Girl..did you notice you always try to compete with my stories with your own version? Say it in a joke state but she’ll get the hint (hopefully).
I have personally had all of these friends in my life at one time or another. I try not to become the friend who also gets on someone’s nerves so it does take some inward observations from time to time. I’ve had to end some friendships along with way, but honestly felt like my “season” of being their friend was over and it was time to move on. Until my next post; keep the madness at bay from Faylene, Chief Mood Strategist @ Dazzling Concepts - www.dazzlingconcepts.com
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