Finish This #22

3 years ago

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Finish This
I conquer fear
by getting through it. This one is tough. I won't say I don't fear things because that isn't true. I have fears I just don't face them on a daily basis. Or even yearly. I fear my family passing away/losing someone close to me, but the last person to pass away in my family was over 15 years ago. I fear illness striking me or my family, but we're all relatively healthy and have no major hiccups. I fear something going wrong in my pregnancy/birth, but so far everything is smooth sailing. When there's something in my life that I'm not quite ready to go through/that I'm fearful of I generally turn to scripture, inspiration from other people, talking to my family, and isolating myself.  Little fears I just avoid. I don't swim in waters where I can see snakes. I don't go to unsafe places alone at night. I never let my fuel take run too empty. I don't drink and drive. I hardly text and drive (key word hardly...). I try to stay healthy to avoid long term health problems.My biggest fear for a while was swimming in waters where I couldn't see the bottom. I would cry and have a panic attack if someone wanted me to swim in a lake. Which is ridiculous. My boyfriend in college thought this fear was so hilarious. One day he took me out on Lake Cavanaugh and just threw me in the water. I started crying. I got over it and had a lot of fun! I had to think about other things instead of thinking about all the potential catfish that could be eating my toes... 
I follow my heart. I always follow my heart. If something doesn't feel right I don't do it. I listen to myself now more often than I do anyone else. I used to thrive off advice. Not that I think advice is a bad thing, but more often then not I would listen to advice rather than listening to what I truly wanted. I realized I would never find happiness not listening to my needs and desires.
I feed my soul by laughing. Nothing makes me feel better than laughing. It makes me feel so alive and well. I used to worry about body image but then I stopped reading magazines, stopped reading about celebrities, and just accepted myself. Not that I don't pay attention to celeb gossip or anything like that these days but in college I would compare myself to other women (mainly celebs and their ideals) and it was horrible for my self esteem. About a year after I graduated college I somehow found Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity and it just changed my life. I still go back and read some of my bookmarked pages from her book when I'm feeling insecure. Highly recommend this book for any women struggling with any type of insecurity. Probably one of my favorite

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