Starting a new blog there is always that question WHAT will I say. It's harder when you already blog as you can confuse yourself with your own words and repeats. However there is one topic I haven't covered and that's transformation of the self as we move on in years. Ya I'm a CRONE...love that I am, never thought I would, but now here find it Freeing in so many different ways. Conformity was never my game but I played it at my expense for the ones I loved, now they will either accept me or reject me and it will be at their expense. Spent 21 years as a daughter, 20 years as a wife, 10 single and separated, 12 widowed with live in mate, and the last 6 single with an adult son returned home. Of all these lives frankly you can keep the last one it's the pits. How many times have we heard never let the kids return home, and how many of us for love allowed it. Most times it's cause they have problems doing their own life and I can tell you if they didn't learn How To from us the first time around, they won't the second time either cause by then they won't listen any better than they did as teens... and all parents know what teens are like. I'll say no more.
Trick here in this situation is to simply forget this is your kid and treat them like a tenant. Which by the way is a near impossibility cause there is that cord attached from parent to child no matter how old they get and how stupid we become, they are always our children. Ya there are some who never grow up, and I'll be darned if I didn't get one of them. The problem is this breed of person is also deaf, that attributs to their persona, they don't hear you and if they do they argue cause they simply don't understand the language any better than they did as teens. There is one major problem in today's society and that's an economy which is creating more of this situation, making it impossible to evict blood as we would the tenant....In fact as a landlord it's made it near impossible to evict the tenant if you have any compassion. Now here is my blog subject BALANCING COMPASSION>>>>
This was a mojor struggle until I woke up one day to realize I was included in this equation to be Balanced. I too had to get my dose of Compassion form me to create true Balance. It's called Self Love and the last place compassion seems to flow when you become a parent. The strangest thing is as a parent it seems your the only one into this thing called equal compassion to create balance, and maybe this is the difference between real maturity and remaining the perpetual child. Maybe it is actually we parents who create the perpetual child by not displaying enough self love from the very beginning of our childrens lives. Maybe parents need to check daily if they are remembering to take their dose of compassionate self love so they can maintain a balance so their off spring, who don't seem to hear or understand the language, will at least recognize it by seeing it happen. It's a little late after they return home as adults to expect their vision to be real clear with their advancing age, but in youth you have half a chance that they catch the view and will some where along the way reconnect to it.
For me, I'm managing what is called detachment sort of the same thing as being "in this world but not of it", and it's helping the family dinamics to slowely change..If I live long enought I may see Balanced Compassion become a two way street but I'm not holding my breath for it. Till then I'll meditate, keep my energy in balance so all chakras are spinning freely holding my own energy frequency at it's highest possible resonance ~ an hope for the best that what I manage to attract back to me as life force is compassion balanced in accourdance with what is extended.
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