When is it that we decide to finally confront our own truths?
We all have a story that brought us to this very moment and I for one have decided to face my own truths and confront the demons from my past. I have made more mistakes than id like to admit and have been Lost in my own truths for a very long time. I have recently decided that it is time for me to Love me regardless of those who have chosen not to. I will no longer allow the abuse I sustained throughout my life to define me or dictate my path.
I have survived many things physically but continue to struggle with them mentally. I have endured Physical abuse, Sexual abuse and mental abuse. So much that I no longer valued who I was or cared enough about myself to stand up to those who abused me. It is now at 35 years old that I am able to move on from the darkness that has carried me in its pain. A conscious decision to set myself free.
I think as a young girl I decided that I must have deserved what happened and that if only I hadn’t put myself in certain situations I could have avoided what took place, Internal blame, so much so that I allowed it to form false truths. I am not a perfect person, I have walked many dark roads but I hope that one day I will be truthfully free.
My children were born to a young damaged girl, and for that I feel guilt. I pray that I have Loved them and set them up to succeed. I have and will continue to sacrifice any and everything to protect them from one moment of what I have faced. They saved me and to them I am eternally grateful.
Looking in at your own truth isn’t always pretty, but my hopes for myself are that I can confront them, forgive them and myself and move forward.
I plan to write it all out in hopes that telling my story will help me face my Truths.
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