Ecstatic Birth is my baby, my fourth child, and just last week as I was frantically juggling it amidst the chaos of my other three, I paused and recognized a thoroughly embarrassing fact-- none of this was feeling all that ecstatic. With three small kids transitioning into a new school year, each with their own schedules for me to juggle, a dog with a bladder infection, a nanny that unexpectedly moved back to her country, the endless march of planning for three meals a day, and now this, Ecstatic Birth, a whole new magnificent love child demanding my attention---- I had totally lost my center.
When I first made the decision to create Ecstatic Birth and help spread the word that childbirth is something that women can ENJOY, I realized that it was my chance to walk my walk. I contend that the way a woman gives birth is intimately intertwined with her approach to life and sensuality. In birthing this new path, I believed I could model that the principles of Ecstatic Birth apply as much to birthing a creative project, as they do to birthing a real live infant.
My teacher, Regena Thomashauer, often says “I wrote the book and I still have to read the book.” So, I printed out a copy of our topTop Ten Tips for Creating an Ecstatic Birth (join our mailing list to receive your copy) and scanned the list for my next move.
“Breathe!“ I read, “Especially when stressed.” As I began to breathe, slowly, deeply, consciously, I noticed all the places in my body that had clamped down, restricting energy from flowing freely.As I breathed, they began to open and the energy began to move. In birth, we experience massive amounts of energy flowing through us. Often it can be overwhelming and we clamp down in fear. It is precisely this resistance that causes the perception of pain. Similarly, the most expansive orgasms are the ones we experience when our body is relaxed, but we often resist the mounting energy and tense up, restricting its flow, and also restricting its pleasure.
The Ecstatic Birth Tele-Summit that I am organizing had filled my days with a whole new level of excitement and I had stopped breathing. What began as a desire to share my own story and empower others in their births had blossomed into a global event with participants from all FIVE continents, breathtaking in their passion. With that success came so many details that I was trying to manage by myself, all while mostly full-time Mommy-ing three small children. Glancing at my top ten list- “Gather support” was screaming pretty loud for my attention.
There was a moment during my second birth when I thought that I just couldn’t go on, that I didn’t have what it took. Every birthing woman hits that moment. It is known as the transition and it is a sign that you are really really close. My doula held my hand gently and had me gaze into her eyes and breathe with her, reminding me that I didn’t have to do it alone. It was an experience of love and sisterhood that I will never forget.
I picked up the phone and enlisted several soul sisters. I can relax now. I don’t have to do this alone. I am breathing and I am really really close. This baby is going to be magnificent!
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