DIY BBQ? Who Travels with a Grill?

3 years ago

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

Recently I've noticed a disturbing trend with my friends and acquaintances. They invite me to a party at their home, but ask me to bring my own drinks, chairs, cups, snacks and meat.

One woman even asked me to bring my own GRILL to her "Summer Kick Off Fiesta." Who travels with a GRILL?

I don't think any of these people are on a shoestring budget, so why can't they be proper hosts and provide things for the guests? I mean, I'm okay with a potluck or with bringing a few items, but I shouldn't have to rent a moving van just to go to a backyard BBQ. I never ask these things when I throw parties. Thoughts?

Signed,

Put Out Party Guest


Credit Image: Jason Hargrove on Flickr

Dear Put Out Party Guest,

This reminds me, I'm having a Fourth of July party this week and I'd love you to join us! Can you please bring ten tables, forty chairs and a chocolate fountain with fresh strawberries for dipping ? Oh, and trash cans for clean-up? And a DJ? Thanks in advance!

Yeah, you're right. That's weird.

Basically all your friends are doing is just setting up a time and place for a get-together and not much else. They don't want any of the work or expense that comes with being real hosts. And do you know what that is? In a word: "tacky." And I say that as someone who once invited people to a party via Post-It notes stuck to their backs that said, "Free Beer. Come." I can't even imagine what Emily Post would say about "bring your own meat."

But because this is super tacky and it obviously bothers you, I think you have every right to skip these parties. You're not being a snob or a highfalutin princess in doing so, either. You just expect a little reciprocity for your generosity when you host. You're a FRIEND, not a caterer.

In my opinion, it's okay to be super casual and treat your friends like family sometimes. But it's not okay to just be completely lazy and ask the guests to do all of the work. Maybe by not showing up, they'll finally take the hint and step it up a little. (And I forgot to mention that I'll need you to bring a few cater waiters to my party. Cute ones. Thanks in advance!)

Best,
Wendi, TMH

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