Our most recent Backtalk was on the subject of divorce and blended families. As you know if you've read any blogs on the matter, real-life blended families often provide subject matter that could never be shown on "The Brady Bunch."
A few bloggers immediately spring to mind when I think of divorce and blended families.
One is Jennifer, from Breed 'Em and Weep. Jennifer had been blogging for some time and gained quite a following when she announced that her marriage was ending. Since that time, she has written posts about the experience that are raw and memorable. Here's a brief excerpt from one:
She wanted bad to believe in true love—oh, she did, more than
anything—but when she thought back on her experiences and listened to
Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and Belle at the bar, well, let’s just
say cool, complicated chick got to a point where she didn’t know
anymore if ANY love could be big enough to hold humility and honesty
and strength and compassion and pain and forgiveness, all in one great
package. Oh, and some fighting. She had decided that some healthy
fighting would be a good thing, in a love, instead of sweeping stuff
under the furniture, with Polly Pockets and dog fur.
When it came to love, she just wanted to be remembered for her
goodness, and not for what she’d done wrong or said wrong. And she was
willing to do that right back.
But it didn’t work out that way.
Another blogger who has written very honestly about her divorce and subsequent remarriage is Mir from Would Coulda Shoulda. In one memorable post she wrote on her divorce, she laments that no matter what her decision had been regarding her first marriage, because children were involved, there could be no truly happy ending.
I think everyone needs to know that life is rarely fair.
I would like it very much if my children could learn that last one
without feeling like there is a constant push-pull going on between
their father and myself, but guess what! Life isn’t fair, and in this
way it is particularly unfair for them. Nothing is fair in divorce.
Finally, I think of Katie Allison Granju, a blogger from here in Tennessee who's doing the blended family thing with her husband, Jon, and four kids, ages 16, 12, 10 and 1. WOW.
One of my favorite pieces she's written about being part of a blended family was an essay she wrote for Babble about getting a "parenting do-over" with her new baby daughter. Here's an excerpt:
Not surprisingly, I find my three older offspring to be the most
special and appealing children I've ever met, and others who know them
agree; these are great kids. But if I am honest, I have to admit there
are some things I wish I had done differently in my earliest years of
raising them. That's because, like most mothers I know, I question my
own parenting choices regularly. Unlike many other mothers, however, I
will now get the chance to try things another way with this brand new
I love the opening of this essay, when Katie is arguing with her teenage son on the phone, telling him for the seventh time that he cannot go out to a teen night event, all while she's also in labor with her daughter. CLASSIC.
If you're looking for some rich blended family reading, I think I've given you some great options. Feel free to leave your own favorite blended family blogs in the comments.
And if you have any ideas for future Backtalk episodes, tell us about them in the comments as well!
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