A strange thing has happened since I had my seconod baby.......I don't care anymore. Okay, that's not the right/politically correct way to say it. I am not as obsessed with every little tiny detail anymore.
With your first child you make lists, prepare all the clothing in advance, have all the formula, bottles, nipples, special utensils, sterilizers, white noise machines, bath products, toys, mats, hats and every other money making scheme under the sun ready to go for your little cutie pie. If something falls on the floor, it was the end of the world and it HAD to be sterilized. Powdered formula wasn't good enough for MY baby, it was concentrate only and at double the price! No hand-me-downs even if they were practically new.
If the baby cried, you would run faster than you probably have in the last five years (because lets face it, most of us don't move that quickly these days)to get to your little bundle of joy. Then you would cuddle him/her and sing to them or even rock them back to sleep. It was an endless list of what you would do for your child. I wouldn't even go to the bathroom without dragging him in the bumbo with me. When I showered, he watched, when I ate, he watched, when I talked on the phone, he listened, when I used the computer, he sat on my lap. I kept the camera on him at all times when sleeping in case the blanket ever inched towards his mouth, or God forbid, he spat up in his sleep.
Now that I have my second little guy, I am much more relaxed.....actually everyone in the family is. We rarely pick him up, he is on powedered formula, sometimes I forget to change his diaper for 5 hours, he began eating real food at 4 months, I let him cry his brains out before I pick him up, we do not use a camera to watch him and we definitely do not rock him, sing him, cuddle him to sleep. He is very easy going, basically puts himself to sleep, he has all hand me downs (don't think I have ever bought anything new for him), he uses all the old toys from child #1, and I never take him into the washroom etc. with me.
I would be curious to see if these children grow up with completely different outlooks on life. My brother was the first born and was very coddled and spoiled (as my first born is) and I was the second who was used to fending for myself and playing with old toys and wearing worn out clothes and we are completely different.....night and day different! We are all born a certain way, but these experiences must shape us to a degree.
My husband and I often joke that our first son is so high strung he will either be a raving intellect or a raving lunatic, it could go either way. Our second son will be the calm and cool one who often will have to keep us in line and teaches us how to behave from time to time.
No matter how many people give you advice on how to raise your child, you will still make the same mistakes as mothers and fathers before you have made. That's why you see so many adults walking around with a sense of entitlement and a bad attitude and you see just as many who are respectful and thankful for everything they have. It will never change, we all want to try it our way and think it will be different when WE do it. However, the truth is, it will always be the same shit, just a different pile.
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