Tired of Being Bored? Guest Blog by Jen Kelchner of www.igniteyourtruth.com
Let’s be real for a minute. Stiletto wearing-cape flying-super women that we are struggle to find our place in women’s groups — ESPECIALLY within our faith. We don’t want to swap recipes and make crafts – that is what we use Pinterest for – and let’s be honest, group craft time is why we get out on Tuesday nights with the girls and pay for paint-by-numbers-and-bring-your-own-wine classes.
Your 30′s and 40′s are no longer what they were to our mothers. We are young and vibrant and ready to change the world. We cover our grays; stay fit and apply organic wrinkle cream to keep mother nature at bay. So, how can we get really down to the dirty raw stuff and still feed our spirits in groups?
Our goal with this series is to start giving ourselves the freedom to say this out loud.
We want to be spiritually fed. We want to go deep. And, we want to do it without borders and judgment. It’s going to be inappropriate, raw, and real. And, we may have choice words while doing it. We are so over playing nice, obligatory smiling, not meaning what we say, and keeping ourselves in society’s neat little boxes. Our generation wants more and we are not afraid to go after it!
I started out writing the above for a few lines to explain what the “Not So” Lady Talk series was about in order to promote our first eBook, “How To Look Good Naked”. As I moved through the first two sentences, I realized that I am defining a generation of women who are seeking something more and something different. Also, I realized I wasn’t doing it justice. I needed to think long and hard about this instead of crafting some pat answer to define a need for a new way of doing things.
Our smart phones are glued to us 24/7 and for some of us turning them off at night isn’t an option. We have apps for everything under the sun, which is great because we multi-task like a boss. Our responsibilities and commitments run deep. And, we find ourselves running on empty, more often than not, looking for ways to not give up something but to just balance it better.
We want to hurl people out of windows when they say dumb things to us like, “Oh, you’re one of those women. You think you can have it all.” Or, when you ask me if I have a problem with men because someone must have hurt me and I’m trying to prove myself. In reply my mind is screaming at you with one or two words I’m using as noun, verb and adjective; just to get my point across. Instead, I reply with a kind smile because you just don’t get it and I feel sorry that you don’t.
When we say we want it all, it is because we deserve it. We deserve the right to live freely; to use our minds, which by the way do think critically (and bonus, we can see the bigger picture because we multi-task and have different compassions than men); to have healthy, loving relationships; to exercise our inherent gifts that may not be suited to staying at home; to just be ourselves without condemnation because we don’t fit the stereotypical, American female role of generations past.
Mostly, we want to be released from all of the horrific bonds that have been heaped upon us for generations, upon generations. We are…because He is! We are…loved, accepted, forgiven and worthy. We are made in His image and fulfill the nature of God, too. And, we want to love, serve and grow in Him.
We don’t want to always go to corporate worship at church. Want to know why? Because we are bored. And, we can go deeper in our relationship sitting at home with Jesus on the couch…still in our pj’s and enjoying a coffee while we chat with Him. We feel out of place at church. We feel obligated. And, obligation isn’t a healthy relationship.
Newsflash!! Women of our generation of 30 & 40 something’s are intelligent, clever, bad ass chicks who seek to be authentic and in relationship just as we are, without judgment and with some spiritual meat that we can chew on. We maximize our time to create and run businesses; we have children we are raising; we have significant others we are loving; we have communities we give within; not to mention the hundred other things that vie for our attention. So, we need it direct and fast. We need a “tell it like it is concept” so we can get to the heart of it.Don’t insult our level of intelligence and needs and desires for anything less than the truth – raw, deep and now.
Women of our generation are young, vibrant, and healthy; and we have far more time ahead of us than behind us. We are ready to change the world and look good doing it. It is time for our “ministries” and “outreaches” to look different and be different. We need a space that allows us be our complex selves safely and simply. Where, if we are having a rough patch, we can vent openly without fear of reprisal. We want to come openly and honestly to sit at the feet of Jesus. We want to do it without churchy language, expectations, religion or perceived theologies.
I want us to dig in deeper now and talk about this transparently sister to sister. What do we really want and need? Let’s create what truly fits this generation. We cater to our 20 something’s with conferences like Passion; the 50 something’s and over enjoy Women of Faith; so let’s address the gap. Please share your feedback in the comments and on social media with us. Define what it should look like and feel like…let’s start talking about it.
Our souls are awakening to truth and it’s time we start feeding them well.
More from parenting