You’re probably too young to understand the knowledge I am going to share with you here. In fact I know you think I’m just a kid who’s slightly bigger and can drive, and in some ways you’re right. First of all, you should know that I love you to pieces and I would do anything for you. I was there when you were tiny enough to hold on one arm and I have seen you grow into a little person. I’ve also seen your parents go through some challenging and rewarding times raising you so far. But the interesting parts are just beginning!
This is why I decided to give you some helpful insight in preparation for those years to come. You should also know that at this point in my life I am not entirely convinced of having children of my own, I will explain why.
When I think about the possibility of having my own children I can come up with many compelling reasons why I should. But then I think of you and I get scared. The thought alone of having my own little versions of me excites me and terrifies me all at the same time. Because based on my observations of you, if I had children I would make my house one floor with no pointy edges, I would probably have all electrical outlets installed on the ceiling and everything would be plastic, no glassware or ceramic in my house. And toys? not so sure, unless they are made of asbestos-free, recycled materials and were too big to fit inside a mouth. And don’t even get me started about technology! Computers? I don’t think so! Facebook? Forget about it. I would give my kids one of those jitterbug phones so they could only dial out four numbers: home, mom, dad and 911. And I would probably attach an ankle monitor to each kid for easy GPS tracking.
So you see, I have my own issues in this matter to work out. The great thing is that I have you to do test runs on. I’ve already made the mistake of feeding you raw carrots when you were a toothless baby (thank goodness for that spit reflex). And in the future I’ll probably feed you too much candy or let you watch too much TV. These are things your parents frown upon and we should keep between us. After all, they just want what’s best for you – even if you can’t see it. They are trying to protect you.
The worst part about it is that even after every precaution and possible preventative measure has been taken by your parents to keep you in line, you’ll still somehow find a way to do something stupid. Some examples include but are not limited to: jumping out of your bedroom window at night, faking sick notes, attempting to cook on your own, forging parent signatures etc…You’d be surprised by the things I saw my friends do in my teenage years who had stricter parents than yours, if you can believe that. And if you’re lucky enough to get a car when you turn 16, let me just give you a piece of advice, you might think its dark out and no one can see inside those foggy windows, but you are wrong! I should add that this is not from my own personal experience.
I know there will be times when you want to run away and it might feel like your parent’s just don’t understand you and they are just making your life difficult. This is when you should remember that you made their lives equally miserable when you were a crying fussy, poopy baby. And if that doesn’t do the trick, you can always come stay with me! But you’ll have to pay rent.
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