Crash Course: Holidays, Racism, and How to Apologize

4 years ago
This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

A few thoughts and meditations on Halloween and various other holiday costumes and jokes that one might want to reconsider:

Image Credit: Recoverlings, via Flickr

1) If I'm ignorant of the ways in which my action is stereotyping and/or mocking, I'm still stereotyping and/or mocking.

2) Describing myself as “ignorant” about something is not self-deprecating but a simple statement of fact—that I have something to learn;

3) My personal experiences of prejudice (homophobia, sexism, classism, etc) do not trump my white privilege;

4) The process of listening and considering other folks’ perspectives and experiences—especially when they are  different from my own—is more important than any inconvenience or discomfort I may experience. Rather than “walking on eggshells,” this is an opportunity to learn;

5) If I offend someone out of my own ignorance (of which I have plenty!), I can apologize and thank the person for taking their time and energy to say something. No, I will not say, “I’m sorry you felt that way.” Instead, I will take responsibility for my behavior by saying, “I’m sorry that I said/did ________________ and I will make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Lastly, one of the teenagers in my life turned me on to this helpful crash course on how to apologize by Franchesca Ramsey (a.k.a. chescaleigh). Here’s what an authentic apology sounds like.

Check it out:

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