Change

9 years ago

"For everything you have missed, you gain something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else." -- Ralph Waldo Emmerson

I
made the decision to stay home with Peanut knowing that I would miss
opportunities to advance my career. I willingly put that part of my
life on hold in order to gain something that I believe is far more
precious... that time with my daughter. I know how lucky I am to have
had the last couple of years with her. However, the economy sucks and
times being what they are I find myself in the position of re-entering
the workforce sooner than I expected.

"I
always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that
some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning,
middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the
moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen
next. Delicious ambiguity. " -- Gilda Radner

I
hope to find some of that delicious ambiguity. I try to create a stable
world for Peanut with predictable routines and from there, I try to be
a bit spontaneous every now and again. It's also how I feel most
comfortable. If I feel as though I'm standing on solid ground, I have
the freedom to jump to new heights. When the ground shakes, when
foundations crumble and I'm thrown off my feet.... well, that's another
story. I know things have to change. I know that I will make the best
of it. Until I regain my balance and settle into a new routine I know I
will walk around with that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach
and the lump in my throat.

"Nothing
in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to
last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it
while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would
have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy." --W. Somerset Maugham

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