I’ve thought throughout the years that I suffered from anxiety. What I’ve realized recently is that I don’t suffer at all… my anxiety meter is just broken. Anxiety is actually a good thing. We feel anxious when something isn’t right in our lives. We experience anxious feelings when something needs to be different. We have anxiety when our balance is off kilter. We are anxious when we need change… anxiety is our change indicator.
However, when I feel anxious I don’t make the changes that are necessary to bring my anxiety meter back down to zero. I just press on… I just put on my big girl panties… I just keep truckin’. My change indicator is flashing and I ignore it. As a result, my anxiety meter just keeps climbing. I become more and more anxious. My meter dial bounces in the red.
Then… I break. My springs pop. My meter glass cracks. My dial flies off.
My anxiety meter is broken… and, I am going to fix it once and for all. When I feel like I need a break… I am going to take one. When I feel like I need separation from my responsibilities… I am going to separate myself. When I feel like I can’t go on… I am NOT going to press on… I am NOT going to put on my big girl panties… I am NOT going to keep truckin’. When I feel anxiety… I am going to listen to my meter and readjust.
I need some tools to get the job done though. The readjustment tools that I need for my broken meter are to learn to lean on others for help, acknowledge that needing help isn’t a weakness, and that allowing the people in my life to help me gives them the opportunity to love me… or teaches them how to love me. I think that these tools are a start to fixing my broken anxiety meter.
Once it is working properly again, it is going to take a while to learn how to read my anxiety meter. I sure hope it comes with an operator’s manual.
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