Living in a house full of Y chromosomes (except for me and the shih tzu) I constantly hear "I'm hungry", "can I have that yogurt of yours?" and "I am out of peanut butter and bread again!"
I kid you not, about a week ago I bought 7 loaves of bread (and we're not counting my hidden cinnamon raisin bread) at Aldis. A week later, there is one left in the fridge. Honestly.
I buy them burritos with beans and rice in them. I but strawberries and bananas. I buy cases of 40oz jars of smooth peanut butter. I buy saltine crackers in bulk. And like locusts hit the house while I am asleep...gone before I can even think about having a bite myself! Sometimes I am afraid to even be in the kitchen with one of them...they might think I look like a quick snack and I'd be history!
The worst part for me is when they clean me out of ingredients I need to make dinners I have planned for the week...like last night's scalloped potatoes. I opened the fridge as innocently as possible and found a container of sour cream but no milk. Usually it's eggs that are missing along with the bread, milk, popsickles, ice cream, burritos, cheese, yogurt, saltines, coffee creamer (seriously) and tomatoes. But last night it was milk.
So I improvised because what was I supposed to do? I had all the other ingredients in the baking dish. So I mixed about a cup of sour cream into the hot water.
I am here to tell you. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME. It didn't turn out well at all. The sour cream kind of clumped together and I probably cooked it in a dish that was too shallow so it was dry with clumps of sour cream all over it. Mmmm....TASTY!
But hey, I tried.
I try to keep this house stocked to feed them all. Cases of canned fruit and vegetables. I never buy less than 5 loaves of bread and freeze everything I can. I bake no fewer than 3 loaves of pre-fab bread every Friday for Shabbat. I make huge bowls of tuna and macaroni salad on the weekends. When I can we buy meat in bulk. I buy no less than 5 bags individually frozen chicken breasts at a time when they go on sale. I keep cheap pot pies for lunch emergencies.
You can probably plainly see that they graze on the easy stuff. If I bought pudding singles...I don't think they'd make it out of the bag. I got Schweppes because I was nauseous and it was half gone by the next morning before I even opened it! I bought some rice pudding last week that I never even saw. Cereal? I used to buy it by the bagful and still do unless I find better deals on the boxed stuff.
Coupons? I buy generic in bulk and I am not an extreme couponer. I spend too much time in the grocery store just keeping this small Russian army from starving to read a paper or the myriad of flyers I get every Thursday. Get real people.
The other thing that makes me go "WHA????" is the disappearance of the coffee creamer. Scott has coffee in the morning before work. I drink tea straight up so I KNOW I am not drinking it by the cupful. Okay, I started drinking Starbucks VIA iced coffee but still. This stuff disappears by the half container full and we buy the super extra large size at Aldis.
I've figured it out though.
Obviously, someone is mainlining it, right?
More from parenting