Are You an Octopus Parent?

A major pitfall facing all parents is the tendency to control and not guide our children.

When my family was still young and I had only 7 kids from 12 years old to newborn, I earnestly strove to raise good kids. Yet all my effort was actually hindering their development My anxiety and control acted like a barrier, a fortress around my children. I was in fact a stumbling block to my kids inner, natural, organic growth into well-balanced, gifted people.

I did not take subtle hints, so a powerful inner image rose up from my subconscious that symbolized what I was actually doing by refusing to let go of control.

First I saw an ocean and a tiny black dot in the water. Slowly the image grew larger till I was face to face with a huge octopus.
The scene switched and now 7 tentacles wrapped aroun

d each of my children with my husband in the eighth. All of them were grey, limp almost lifeless.

Since I am spiritual, my imagery was religious but the same principle applies to all parents. Jesus appeared in a blaze of light. Brandishing a sword, The Lord severed each tentacle one by one. As soon as each child was set free, they began dancing and laughing in the sunshine.

My husband lay on the ground wrapped tightly by the remaining thick tentacle. We all kneeled on the ground, weeping, desperately pulling and tugging the tentacle but to no avail. Suddenly, Jesus stood at His feet and in a flash of the sword of truth, my husband was released and came back to life.

I was the octopus.

Sometimes we just need to “let go” of the things that we worry about (i.e. our children, loved-ones, or family members) and put our TOTAL trust in God. When we are able to do that, we (and the people we care about) can then truly experience the freedom of living! I read a quote that said something like… the worst sin against another human being besides hate and murder is trying to control and manipulate them because you are stealing their real identity, molding them into a false image.

 

our children 

The Joy of Mothering
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