Are you a Mean Mom

This article was written by a member of the SheKnows Community. It has not been edited, vetted or reviewed by our editorial staff, and any opinions expressed herein are the writer’s own.

mean momsThe term "Mean Mom" has been floating around for awhile.  I always thought it meant grown up version of "Mean Girls", all that bitchy stuff.  Well, now it seems to reflect mothers who discipline.

Ugh ... since when did discipline get mixed up with being mean?  It's mean NOT to discipline your children.

If you don't discipline your children you're not teaching them right from wrong.  And how are they going to develop any self-discipline if they haven't experienced discipline?  Schools are usually doing that for parents which is why so many kids are in charge of their parents, they don't respect them.  And if they're only getting discipline in school they're often out of control everywhere else.

Children who don't respect their parents often don't respect themselves either, it's why low self-esteem is such a huge problem with teenagers.  That's the age when all the parenting mistakes show up and teens often become self-destructive.  We all make mistakes, no one's perfect.  But don't make a huge one by avoiding discipline or you'll regret it.

Discipline is good stuff.  It's about rules, manners and chores.  It teaches children how to be honest, polite, kind, thoughtful, productive, accountable, etc.

Punishment is another category altogether, it's what's often necessary to keep discipline in place.  Punishment is an exercise in accountability.  A great example of how to punish is if your son hits your daughter.  He then has to make her bed for a week.  But if she teases him about it, she has to make his bed for a week.  That's the best type of punishment as it's not yelling or hitting or any other sign you've lost control.  Plus, it's showing him how to go from mean to nice.

You have 2 choices:

  1. Don't Discipline & raise Bullies with Low Self-Esteem, or
  2. Discipline & raise Nice Kids with High Self-Esteem  

Comments always welcome.

Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach

 

 

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