And then she was four | Keep Your Head Up

4 years ago

The other night Joe was working late, I got the kid through bedtime and then went downstairs to get on my treadmill and watch Downton Abbey. After my hour was up I walked up to the kitchen and kept listening to my headphones while I cleaned up.

I don’t know how long she had been trying to get my attention, but I know that when I finished in the kitchen and started walking up to our bedroom she was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. She needed a bandaid for some minor injury or another, probably imagined. Another excuse to get out of bed and delay sleep a bit more.

The funny thing is as I looked up at her and saw her standing there waiting for me, the mommy she had been looking for or calling out to, it too a minute to register. I stared up at this little girl and remembered that she’s mine. I have a daughter, she’s ever-growing, she looks to me for all her needs.

I keep looking into her face and trying to figure out why she looks different again. Her features are changing, she’s taller, she talking at a constant clip about all different things. She’s gotten sillier, which I wasn’t sure was actually possible.

She has skills. I remember taking her into the pool for our first baby and me class, I remember sending her out on the ice with Daddy for the first time. Now she can do it all on her own, and better all the time.

It’s impossible than I am the mother of this child. I had a little baby.

IMG_8405

I told my best friend that I still feel like a babysitter sometimes, like I’m 16 and have been put in charge for a few hours.

How can she possibly really be mine?

This is an article written by a member of the SheKnows Community. The SheKnows editorial team has not edited, vetted or endorsed the content of this post. Want to join our amazing community and share your own story? Sign up here.

More from parenting

Parenting
by Claire Gillespie | 2 hours ago
Parenting
by Sarah Caron | 18 hours ago
Parenting
by Allison Hope | 20 hours ago
Parenting
by Michelle Maffei | a day ago
Parenting
by Jennifer Mattern | 2 days ago
Parenting
by Allison Hope | 3 days ago
Parenting
by Claire Gillespie | 5 days ago
Parenting
by Kim Grundy | 5 days ago
Parenting
by Marquita Harris | 5 days ago
Parenting
by Erin Donnelly | 6 days ago
Parenting
by Mary Fetzer | 7 days ago
Parenting
by Marquita Harris | 7 days ago