During the Summer, I participated in a quick four-week Bible study. When I would share things I would automatically start my dialogue with, “I’m sorry but in our family….” and the instructor would continually say, “don’t apologize.” She finally said, “don’t apologize for how you choose to live your life.” The truth is I wasn’t really sorry about how Mr. C and I have purposely chosen to live our lives. Instead, I was attempting not to offend anyone else with our choices.
I have experienced the so-called “Mommy Wars.” You know where there is only one way to parent your child (or live your life) and if you are not doing it that way you are a complete looser? I never want to make any other mom feel that way. Even though I have come to the realization that we are all different. Our family dynamic, the personality of our kids, our own personalities and even our priorities are different. Therefore it would be ridiculous to expect there to be some cookie cutter way to parent. Yet, I fear that when I share my outlook on parenting others will think I expect them to mimic me (I do not) or compare their life to mine and so I apologize.
I decided to stop apologizing for things I am truly not sorry about. It’s much harder than I realized. Apparently I do not know how to talk about my life, especially how we parent without apologizing for it. Mr. C and I are probably considered old school parents. You know the kind with strict rules and demand respect. I often find myself saying, I’m sorry but our kids aren’t allowed to have XYZ or watch this or thator go here and there or whatever the case may be. The truth is we are not sorry. We have actually consciously decided all of these things.
I am certainly not saying you are a horrible parent because you allow your kids to do things that we do not. All I am saying is that for OUR FAMILY, this is how we are choosing to parent and I shouldn’t have to apologize for that.
Wouldn’t it be great if we just decided to refuse to be offended? I love to hear how others raise their kids or handle certain situations in their families. For me I may take a little of what you are doing and a little of what someone else is doing and make it my own. I might also think to myself, “There is no way that would ever work for my family!”
Just so we are clear, although I am choosing not to apologize for how we see fit to raise our kids doesn’t mean I am in any way judging you for how you are raising your kid. I encourage you to do the same.
Do you apologize for your parenting/lifestyle choices?
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